Remembering Pu Thangthuam on 31/12

You left us on this day in 2005 but you are still alive in our hearts.
You are our ideal, from where we imbibe eternal inspiration, affection and guidance.

Today, as we enter your death anniversary, the nation pays tribute to thee. And millions of ZO’s around the globe shed a tear for you. We remember you.

R.I.P. dear father, hero, and comrade!

Where were you when the world stopped turning on that December day?
When the ground beneath shook in violent tremor, the terrifying thunder roared…
When a hail of Meitei bullets ripped through his body…
Our dear father, Pu Thangthuam…
When he uttered a desperate cry, “Sons of Zo, where are thou? Why hast thou forsaken me…”
And at long last, when he helplessly gasped for breath, surfacing with a final death cry before disintegrating into nothingness…
Where were you on that December day, oh, sons of Zo?


Remember the Oinam Bazaar!
Remember the 31/12!
Remember the Meiteis!
Remember him!

Remember the quest for Zoland!

Zaankhua dai, zaankhua siang

Zaan dang banglou in khua dam peetmah hi. Vaan a siang a, tunglam ah meiphualpi mahbang in aaksi te duur phengphung in a neute bel a phe leplep uhi. Ka dinna innsawng apan gaal a khopi thupi tak, paak ziazua in a kimu a, meivaak chi tuamtuam a eeng zihziah hi. A kaallak ah haalpuak ngaihtak hongpuak domh a, vaan laizawl a hong eengtou singseng zeel hi. Ka kiim, ka paam ah mi te hulum in a om zaizai uhi.

Mite’n hiai Krismas ma zaan hun nuamtak a a zat vengvung lai un kei bel ngaihsutna khawl deeduu in hongveh se hi. Huchia ka omlai in ka lungsim mitkha a hongvaak a, awl in pianna Zolei a honveel diaidiai hi. Gaal a kipan Krismas leenkhop laa hong kisa hialhial hi’n ka za a, lawi-le-pai, khanvual te’ nuihging bang ka bil ah a honglang chiaichiai hi. Singpi san, limtak a bawl, leh i Zo’ khutsuak ngei, sangkan gim khawng ngaih gimsi bang a diikkha vingving hi’n ka kithei hi. Innlum ngaihna a hongpuang a, a lungleen huai ngeimai.

Huchih lai in ka phone a hongging a, message a hongtung hi. “Hongpai dek nailou mo? Panta keive ua,” chiin Kimbawi in honchi hi. Sangkan khawm sawm ka hihlam uh ka phawksuah hi. Muamuan te toh hohna diing nei masa ka hihman un, “Ana panmai uau, denlam chiah k’ong paidi,” chiin ka thukkiik hi.

Ahitak in bangmah ka peihkei. Bangmah in a ka kha a tokthou zou taktak kei.

Ka kingaihtuah a, innlam a om hileng, lawmte toh ka hunzat diingdaan uh ka suangtuah a, nopmeel ka sa mahmah hi. Khat khit khat, suangtuahna screen ah honglang ziahziah hi. “Ah, a lungleen huai maimai,” chiin ka hongpawt khia a, Muamuan te’ kiang ah ka va pai hi.. Huchiin, ka hongman ua, disco a hoh di’n ka hong kithawi kheta uhi. Ka iit Kimbawi bel hiaibang mun khawng a hohdi’n ka phal theikei.

Mi 8 ka pha ua, auto nih laa in disco mun ka honzuan ta uhi. Lawmte mi thum, kop kim in a om ua, kei toh Sangpu bel a khaat in ka pai heeuhaau uhi. Amun ka hongtung uleh lut chihtak in ana luun hi. Eilam nungaak, kholai a i tuahkhaak chiang a hoih i saksim khenkhat, Negro tangvaal lian hethut khawng toh kikawi helhel in a na om ua, a khen te lah Vai te’ car sung khawng a tu in, laizial pet veeuvaau in a om ferfar geuh uhi. Mit siip sim. Disco sung ka va luutdek uleh bouncer pa’n chinky te honna luutphal hetkei hi. (Ei compound ah mo lah va kichi thei mawklou hi’n maw.) Bangtan hiam ka kiseel nung un mundang ka zuannawn uhi.

A mundang peen bel ana nuam mahmah a, eilam mi leeng hunkhop va ki om hi. Laizial khu lunglung, zu gim nam humhum, meelhoih taktak kisawi hahhah – DJ pa’n tulai deuhdeuh honhih bangzaw aw, kisuum zoulou in kei leeng ka va kisawi trahtrah saam hi. Siamlou tuan saam ale! Lawmdang te nuam sa in a om vengvung ua, kei bel ka thaw kituak zou taktak lou ahi diing a, a hongpik mahmah ta. Ka lungsim ah Kimbawi a honglang a, a siang zuan a khaubang chiah ka ut tuntun hi. Sangpu leeng pai a ut a, nuamsa lawlai ahihman un Muamuan te lawi ka paisan mai uhi.

Kimbawi te’ kiang ka tun chiang un amau leeng duur in ana duur mai uhi. Kongkhaak ka va honleh, tangvaal hon toh zu dawnkhawm in Kimbawi ana om a, ana chiak niahniah uhi. Ka iit Kimbawi. Maimah de! Ka muhdaan a danglam ta ngeimai. Kimbawi, mihoih mahmah daan a ka koih, biakna limsak mahmah daan a ka muh, party na a hohdia le ka zot ngamlouh, hichia om maimaw! Na paammaih ngei. Na meelhoihna te hichia zangliam maidiing maw? Ka lungsim a hongnaa mahmah a, hiaimun a omtheilou in innlam zuan in ka hongpai mai hi.

Ahitak in, zudawn a omsaang mah in a zulhzauna in ka lung a hon suna zaw.

Bangmah ka ngaihtuah thei nawnkei. Heh ka hia, naa sa ka hia, hazaa ka hia, lungleeng ka hia, lungkham ka hia, ka kithei zoukei.

Lampi ah phalbi huihvot a hongnung hiauhiau a, vaanlai zawl a aaksi vaak singseng te ka entou hi. Ka sana ka etleh daak 12.00 ana gingta. Huchihlai in gaal a kipan Krismas laa hong kisa ging in ka bil a honluh ngiaingiai hi.

Zaankhua dai. Zaankhua siang.

[Hiai thugelh lungsim suangtuahna a kipan hong piangkhia ahi. Mun leh min te, kuamah geenna tuam ahikei.]

Guun Gaal Taan Inn Apan Suahtaakna

Vuikhu laang lunglung kawm ah Tedim Road, lampi setak mai tawn in bus a hongtai ngiaingiai hi. Suunni mual ah a keniam hiaihiai a, lamgei ah naupang hon, dong setak a kithuam te’n tua gari a tuang te a khut un a vaan leplep uhi. A paam deuh ah cheek sing leh meihol bag a kichiang dim venvon a, a saklam ah mi bangzah hiam te’n sing a aat nainai uhi. Tua laitak in Shaktiman gari khat in bus a honpeel a, a khu ngeimai". I gam a singhoih-singlian teng kiphuuk siang ta ahihman in i gaal a gammaang sing te va saat louhngaal neekmuhna diing omlou," chiin Muallum mahajon, Hausuan in geen hi. Amah tel in Singngat taang a singsaat mi 20 te, Kawlgam a ni 177 sung taan inn a genthei tak a hun a vazat nung un tu’n damtak in hongpawt kheta uhi.

Hiai ahihleh daan bohsiatna leh thongkiatna taangthu kia ahikei. Zodawn mangbatna a kipan khosuahkhiat theihna dia lampi zonna leeng ahi. Baan ah, hiai taangthu ah unau, chikhat-sakhat kaal a kilainat tuahna thuuktak leeng a tel. Tu in suahtaakna daak a gingta, i chi maithei. Hiaitan ah i tungthu uh beisak kei ni. Mabaan sautak i neilai.

Guun pang buluhna:
Guun lui gaal, gammaang a sing thupi taktak te saat a neekzong in a kum a sim Singngat kiim leh Behiang gam a khua khenkhat te na khosa tou uhi. Hiai neekzonna ahihleh a meet lawmlawm kei. Hinna a diing a lauhuai thei thil tampi leeng kigolh hi. Lam setak leh gammaang kawm a sing laa a kuanna ahia, Kawlgam a i unau, khomi te leh Kawl sepaih te suk lungkim – khenkhat te’ a di’n bel kiveen - ngai gige hi. Mahajon te’n kho hausa te’ kiang ah kha thum leh li khawng daih diing singlaak theihna di’n Rs. 20,000 – Rs. 40,000 kaal sung uh a, tua hausa te’n sepaih te maivilna in a kimkhat diing khawng pesawn uhi. Mahleh, sum bangmah pelou a luut pawl leeng omzeel hihtuak.

"Sing beam, cubic 1 ah Rs. 60 khawng a la in Rs. 90 in ka zuak ua, seemtu te teng khatvei kuan in Rs. 500 bang ka pia uh," chiin Singngat mahajon khat in geen hi.

Kawlgam a taaninn ah:

A ngeina bang in gari bangzah hiam a kizui in mi 100 vualdiing khawng singla di’n Aisih gam ah, tukum May kha bul in na luut uhi. Himahleh May 6, 2006 ni peen a ngeina ana bang ta kei. Amau te thakhat thu in Kawl sepaih te’n khum uh a, gari 3 leh mi 21, naupang khat tel in, man uhi. A tam zotham te bel suakta man uhi.

Cikha ah tonpih in om ua, huai a kipan May 12 in Tonzang lockup tut hi uhi. Vaangphat huaitak in taksa lam a kigawtna nasa lua a omkei. Khatvei, S. Vengnuam a Thangkhankhai, a lu suk keek in om a, huailou in June 27 leh 28 in buaina khenkhat a omziak in up-down 600 vaal vei neihsak hi uhi. Huaibaan ah, Sumchin mi, Dalkhanpau, OC pa’n a phei a peeksak ziak in kaal khat veel taang theilou in om hi. A omna lockup uh ahihleh feet 20 square a neu ahi a, huaisung ah mi 21 kihen khawm in a sung ah daileen buuk khat om zomah hi. Cikha a kipan Tonzang a a taansung teng un mahajon te’n neek-le-taak teng seengvek uh a, annhuan di’n khomi te zangtou ngiitngeet uhi.

Tonzang a a omsung un court 13 vei kaiman uhi. Court a a dinchiang un a sik ua ding diing kuamah a nei (thei) kei ua, thukhen tu khat in ngoh a a omna uleh a mohna te uh simkhiatna nei a, thukhen pi pa’n tua te pansan in thu tankhumna nei zuingaal zeel hi. Huaidiing in i unau te’n sum tamkhop seeng zomah uhi.

August 25, 2006 a Tonzang Township Court in a thukhenna ah naupang Pauminthang khahkhiat diing, chi a, Tangpijol mi, Manglianlam, SSB thau khat toh matkhawm khaak ahihna ah sabet ziak in kum 19 sung jail taang di’n thu tankhum hi. Midang 19 te ahihleh phalna bei a gamsung luut leh singsaat ziak in kum 12 sung taang diing, chih ahi. Tu in amau te a khoveel uh mial in a tuamchip ta. Lametna bangmah a neithei nawnkei uh.´Huchiin, August 31 in mi 21 te Sagaing Division sung, Kalemyo Township a Inndainggyi prison-cum-labour camp puaktung in om uhi.

Naupang Pauminthang peen khahkhiat in a ompah kei. Hun sawt kuamtak hong kivei a, belhdiing neilou in mangbang tak in a theih ngeilouhna gam ah hun hon zangtou lai hi. Innkuan khosak haksat ziak in Hausuan in amah na keemtou hi. Hingdam a a khonung a hong kimuh un Paumin in khasetak mai in a pu, Hausuan’ kiang ah hichiin geen hi: "Nou Kalemyo zuan a n’on paisan nung ua kei kia a thawmhau tak a om ing a, innlam lah pai theilou, meeltheih lah khat beek le neilou… kei kapkap mai…" September kha lailak veel in Champhai ah khaakkhiat in ompan hi. Huai a kipan innlum a zotdaan bang leeng taangthu khasiat huai mahmah khat ahinawn.

Inndainggyi taan inn ah a gawm in mi 1,300 veel om ua, tua ah numei 270 veel tel hi. A hunzat daan taangpi uh ahihleh: ziing daak 3 a thou, kihahsiang, daak 6 a singpi dawn, nna seem, daak 10 a ziing ann ne, daak 11 a pindan a luutnawn, daak 1 apan nna seem, daak 3 a ann ne, khawl tawldam, huaizoh ut leh utlou omlou daak 5 a kipan meimit! A geendaan un a ann neek te uh vok ann saang a leeng limlou zaw, chi uhi. "I lu anat leh paracetamol, i gil anat leh paracetamol, i sung a khoh leh huaimah hizeel, natna tengteng a paracetamol higai vek! Huaile a omlouh chia sialthuak ek ngai zomah!" chiin a lak ua khat in geen hi.

Hun te hong pailiam zeel a, Inndainggyi a kha nih bang a hong kikhum bichilh nung un October 30, 2006 ziing daak 5 in amau te’n - a lamet phaak nawnlouh nung un - suahtaakna khovaak hon muta uhi. Namphalong a pi in om ua, huai a kipan Moreh tan khaaktung in om uhi. Kawlgam a a hunzat sungteng uh lungziin huaitak himahleh amau te haattak leh haangtak in pangtou ngiitngeet uhi. "Pathian hing bia i hihziak un ka lung a liapkei. July kha lailak veel a ka sung te’n innlam news a honkhaakna uah, Delhi a Zomi Human Rights Foundation te’n pan ana la ua, MP pa’ kiang a a thu ana tun uh ahi, chih ka theih un lametna liantak a honpia," chiin Hausuan in geen hi.

Mat ahihtuung un sepaih te’n a vanteng uh laaksak gaivek ua, a paikuan un puanteen khat leh puanaak khat chiat piak in om uhi. Gari thum, a matkhawm te uh ahihleh tu in Cikha ah heentaang in omlai hi.

Sak-le-khang a Zomi te kisumdawl tuah:

Laizom mi 21 hiilhial gamdang a mat a a om thu uh a kitheih a kipan mi kheempeuh i lung honphawng hi. Internet tungtawn a kithuzaakna, adiak in SSPPNet (Delhi SSPP te’ phuan, international discussion forum) ah khawllou in hiaithu kikupkhawmna paitou hi.

Hiai Guun gaal a saltaanna taangthu, hong kitheih khiatna ahihleh Heutupa H Khamkhansuan, Varanasi a kipan ahi. Mat ahihnung uh, ni 18 bang a pailiam nung a complaint bangmah bawl ahih nailouh lai ziak in a thu ngai poimoh in May 24 in Singngat OC, Kamzathang, SI in FIR chiamteh hi. Local news te ah leeng report bangmah a om tuankei. Mat a om innkuan te’n palai sawl in Singngat bial MLA, Thangso va panh pah uhi.

Thuchian theinuam in June kha bul in Zomi Human Rights Foundation (ZHRF) Delhi Cell heutu te’n Singngat a om Mr. T. Dongkhansiam kiang ah a thu kanchiang di’n sawl uhi (lampi dang omlou ahihman in). Tua thuchian te pansan in ZHRF Delhi Cell in June 24, 2006 (Kiginni) in Manipur Outer MP, Mani Charenamei’ kiang ah a thu tun ua, a hihtheih daandaan a panlaak pih di’n ngeen uhi. June 26 (Seppatni) in MP Charenamei in a thu, Home Affairs leh External Affairs ah tunngaal a, mimal tak in leeng a saite va kimuhpih hi. MP pu’n khawllou a pantouh zeel sawm ahihdaan heutu te’ kiang ah geen hi.

Huchihlai in, i Zosuan pih, imi ngeelngeel saltaang uh, chih thei in awlmohna lianpi toh Pu NT Khankhup, Indian Ambassador to DPRK (North Korea) in, Yanggon a Indian Embassy a a lawm, Mr. Manoj Kumar Bhartu, Deputy Chief of Mission kiang ah ana kan hi. Mahleh amau hichibang thu thei khalou uhi. Hiai ahihleh June kha ahi.

August 3, 2006 ni’n Parliament ah MP Mani in hiai thu taangkouna nei hi. Ama’n gamgi lehlam tuak a teeng mi te chikhat-sakhat i hihdaan uh geen a, mat a omte’ haksat daan geentel in, a kinthei lam a Myanmar solkaal kiang a khahkhe dia phu di’n ulian te kuun hi. Huchiin, kha khat nung in MoS (External Affairs) E. Ahamed in MP Mani hiaithu toh kisai in laikhaak a, a thu, Yangon a Mission tungtawn a Myanmar solkaal kiang a tut ahihdaan geen hi. Myanmar Foreign Office in leeng tua mi 21 te gamsung a sing a saatziak ua Myanmar Immigration Law and Public Law bohsia hi un geen.

August kha tawp kuan in Pu NT Khankhup in Yangon a Indian Ambassador Bhaskar Mitra houpih a, himahlah Mr. Mitra in hiaithu amau kiang tung nailou ahihdaan geen a, "Ka na enzui dia, thil omdaan Delhi a i kimuh chiang in ka honhilh diing," chi hi. September kha bul a South-East Asia sung a Indian Ambassador te’ khawmpi Delhi a neih a om ah, Pu Khankhup in Mr. Mitra munawn a, himahleh hiaihun tan in leeng a thu, amau – Yangon a Indian Mission te – kiang tung nailou lai hi. Huchiin, Pu Khankhup mah in Ministry of External Affairs (MEA) a a saipa’ kiang ah kan a, hiai thu amau’ lak a taamlel ahihdaan hilh in om hi. September 5, 2006 in ama’n MEA a Joint Secretary (BSM) Mr. Mohan Kumar va kimuhpih a, Mr. Kumar in leeng ana ngai poimoh mahmah a, huaini mahmah a Yangon lam a athu khaakkhiak diing in thu pengaal hi. Huchih lai in Lok Sabha/Rajya Sabha Secretariat a seem imi-isa te’n pan ahihtheih daandaan un ana la siausiau uhi. MP Pu Mani ngei in leeng Burmese Embassy te leh External Affairs a mi poimoh te kimuhpih touzeel hi.

Awl a panlaak theih daandaan a laak ahihlai in August 25, 2006 ni’n mi 20 te’ tung ah thukhenna khauhtak mai guan in hong om hi. A lung liaphuai mahmah. September 12, 2006 ni’n Copenhagen, Denmark a om Heutupa Lealyan Thomte in, amun a pan hongla theilou ahihman in Rs. 20,000, hiai saltaang te hutkhiatna dia panlaakna di’n honthoh khia hi. September 13, 2006 a Indo-Myanmar kaal a 12th Home Secretary-level talks ah hiaithu geen in hong om a, phualpi ulian te’n Deputy Minister for Home Affairs, Union of Myanmar’ kiang ah a kinthei lam a thu ngaihtuah di’n ngetna bawl uhi.
Huailou in, October 14, 2006 a Siamsinpawlpi, Joint Headquarter Delhi’ saina a Siamsin Khawmpi om ah, SSPP Delhi leh ZHRF Delhi Cell te kithuah in Chief Guest, Oscar Fernandez, MoS(Labour) kiang ah hiai tungtaang a a thu ngaihven pih di’n ngetna khenawn leuleu uhi. Yangon a Indian Embassy te’n a thu amau kiang a tunphet in "Consular Access" (suangkulh taang te kimuhpih theihna) ngeenpah ua, Yangon ah Embassy a First Secretary (Consular) Mr. Raj Srivastava in suangkulh taang te na kimuhpih hi. Huchiin, amau te a suahtaak theihna diing un Embassy in naaktak in Myanmar solkaal’ kiang ah geensak hi.

Tu in imi-isa te a saltaanna ua kipan hong suakkhe ta uhi. A kipahhuai.

Ambassador Mitra in tua imi-isa te hingdam a hongkiik theih uh a kipahhuai daan geen a, huchibang mun a omkha te, athu-alaa geenlou a kaaplup toptop hi un leeng geen. Huan, Myanmar solkaal’ ngaihdaan in eite’n a gam daan uh kalh a nna vaseem ihi ua, himahleh India solkaal in mi gam’ daan va bohsia, chi a hon paampaih mailou a, hon piikhiat thil kipahhuai tak ahi. Pu Khankhup in "Gamdang a haksatna tuak i omleh MEA leh i Embassy te’ kiang a a thu tutpah diing ahi,"s chi. Ama’n hiaibang buaina mun tamtak ah na sai ngeita hi.

Tualou in, "Gamgi zuul a zuihdiing policy, nou a dia hoihdiing, honkhung un. A gaal lehlam tuak a teeng mi te chikhat-sakhat na hihna uah, solkaal in daan a hon bawlsak theidiing. Huchiin, ke’n phualpi solkaal ka na phudiing," chiin MP pu’n geen hi.

Iimvuallouh- nialvuallouh thutak:
Kawlgam a kipan i unau te khahkhiat a om thu uh a zaakphet in Singngat MLA Thangso Baite in a mi zatte sawl in amau te Moreh ah va piisak a, October 31, 2006 in Imphal a a teenna inn ah vaidawnna neipih hi. A thugeenna ah, "Outer MP Mani in nna bangmah a seem theikei. Na tungthu uh Manipur ah a kisai kei a, kei leh Inner MP Dr. Meinya in a saanglam a thil ka sai ziak ua nou lawi hongpawt khethei na hi uh," chi hi.

MLA Thangso in panna a neikei, zaw chikhang. Nei khamah inteh. Kikum sukzual le.
August 3, 2006 a Lok Sabha zero hour ah MP Mani in May 6, 2006 a Zomi singsaat 21 mat a a om thu uh a geenzoh in Inner MP Dr. Thokchom Meinya in MP Mani houpih a, a thilgeen a dik leh a diklouh dong hi. "Bialtu MLA Thangso in lah amau te ‘jail taang ahikei uh, gammaang a om ahi uh’ a chi a?" MP Mani leeng hong lungbuai sim a, Rajya Sabha a seem, Heutupa Thangzalun Khuptong kiang ah a thu kanchiang thak hial hi. Huchiin a mangngei nawnlou diing in, MLA pu’ thugeen, Zosuan te’ khangthu bu ah chepteh in hong omta hi.

Huan ah, November 9, 2006 a Heutupa Lun Khuptong toh MP Meinya a kihouna uah, MP pa’n jail taang te a pawtkhiat lam uh theipan hi. Dr. Meinya in ahihleh khatvei hiam Home Affairs te’ lak ah lehkha ana peluut hihtuak. Ahia, India gam paidaan ah, hiaibang a lehkha piakluut te koihdap theih himahleh Parliament House a thil taangkou a om te himhim koihdap theih hilou hi.

Huaiziak in, ZHRF Delhi Cell te’ phuutna ziak a, MP Mani Charenamei in Parliament a a kikoupihna tungtawn a ‘i thu’ un a deenna diing muntak deengkha ahi zaw.

[Hiai thugelh, Tongluang December 2006 issue ah leeng a suak. Supporting documents bangzah hiam www.zogam.com ah a muhtheih diing]

THE LAST MOMENT

THE NIGHT was cold and gloomy. The moon shied away behind dark clouds, and not a single star shed its feeble light over the wilderness of the hills. In the stillness of the air, only the occasional chatter of birds high in the trees and the shrill whistling of the wind could be heard. Chingboi closed her eyes, listened to the sounds around her, smelled the fragrances of grasses and wild flowers. Mimin stood there, beside her, lost in his thoughts. And a long, unsettling silence filled the night which seemed to drag on for eternity.

As the coolness of the night’s breeze caressed Chingboi’s face, she felt the faint breeze stirring her hair gently and her eyes sparkled from held back tears. With frozen emotions, Mimin desperately tried to put together the words of what to say. The clock ticked on. He knew their time was coming to an end. But no word seemed to find its way up from his brooding heart.

Chingboi leaned on a tree holding Mimin’s hands in hers. She couldn’t bear to look him in the face. In her mind, she knew this was it. They both did. It had been an amazing one and a half year starting from the moment they met. It wasn’t fair that it had to end tonight. Again, she had found something that made her heart skip. And again, something was tearing him away.

“Ching,” Mimin quietly said. She didn’t respond. She couldn’t bear to hear what he would be saying. She was all of 18, and he was barely 19. In the region where she lived, her family surname carried the image of prominence and substantial wealth. Yes, her parents and family were wealthy, but Chingboi was far from being well to do in her own right. She was humble, compassionate and that’s the reason why she could be “in love” with a poor, noble guy like Mimin. Plus, she was emotionally and physically weak.

“Ching, ” he said again. He gently raised her face with the tips of his fingers; her brown eyes glided slowly towards him, slightly upwards, mollified and questioning.

“No,” said Chingboi bringing her focus back to his hands. The emotions were choking her voice. She couldn’t believe this was happening. “Min, let me just pretend that tonight is just another night, just another sweet moment.”

Silence came again. He took her in his arms, and they both leaned on the tree. Chingboi looked up at the summer night sky. “I wonder why no stars are there tonight. Everything seems bleak and dismal.” She paused and remembered the time they went stargazing. With a chuckle, she said, “Remember that time when we went uphill to look at the stars? And, you told me all the stories about each one of them?”

“I could never forget.” Mimin turned her around so they could face each other. “Ching, I meant what I said that night.” His voice was still gentle and quiet but the emotion was pretty audible. “And I still do.”

The past year had passed by like a tornado, quick and devastating. Yet memorable.

They first met at a freshers’ welcome while they were in the XIth class at Rayburn College. That was a couple of years ago. And from that moment, they found a mutual attraction in each other’s personalities. They had shared the best of times together like every other young lovers. Together they had run through the sand, walked through piles of leaves, sat in the green fields, wandered by rivers at night hand in hand, climbed the top of the mountain, swam the deepest sea, stared towards where the blue horizon met the sky. When the moon arced its way serenely across the azure sky as the night deepened, he had sung to her songs that he wrote for her – songs of love, praises, faithfulness, promises – and she had loved every bit of them.

Chingboi couldn’t say anything. The words that he had said to her on that night still reverberated in her mind. “Even if you are drifting away from me, my love will always surround you, my loyalty will always be true to you, my trust will always be in you...” Every word hit her like a dagger in the heart. She knew that she loved him too. But sometimes love wasn’t just enough. There was life beyond love. She had a great, caring family who wanted her to make it big in life. When the emotional blackmails from her family members tended to sway her, love didn’t seem to stand a chance in her way. And she was now standing on the verge.

Chingboi had told Mimin how excited she was to continue her studies in New Delhi. She used to dream of getting in one of the best colleges in Delhi University and of living a posh life in a big city, far away from the stresses of home. She had always wanted to break free from the confines of her family. She had always ended up “ooh-ing” and “aah-ing” over the thought of the bustle of city life. Movies. Shopping malls. Late night outs. Parties. Discothèques. Thumping music. Drinks. Dances. Glittering lights. A different world cut away from the so-called civilized society with social stigmas that don’t stick. And much more.

Reality sunk in. Now that she was going there the next day, all her past excitements seemed to have died down. She only wished if the night would go and on. A soft whisper awakened her from her reverie.

“Where are the days when you told me that you would never leave me? That you would hold on to me no matter what?”

“Did I? Didn’t I? I don’t know,” she looked up at him. “I used to believe that things would work out fine for us. But lately I realized I’m wrong,” she paused, then sounding serious, she said, “I don’t understand why would my family be so harsh on us. But I have to accept that they are doing this for my good - for our good.”

Mimin just stared, blank faced at the silhouette of the woman he loved dearly. Chingboi said, “I have a challenging career awaiting me and right now, I have to focus on my life. Maybe we will meet again somewhere, sometime… After I finish my graduation. When I’m a little bit more capable on my own.”

“You’re at it, Chingboi,” he said. There was no turning back now. There was no more stalling this conversation. Before she even said the words, he could feel his heart starting to crack. “You were my shooting star. You were my wish. You were my light.” He could hear her aching heart in those words as she too, tried to hold her composure. Mimin wanted her to stop talking because each word was only hurting him even more. He knew what she was going to say, and he wanted her to stop.

“Chingboi,” he said, “Don’t say it. Please. Don’t.” It hurt so much, and his eyes were starting to burn.

She continued anyway. “Before I met you, everything has been planned. These times together, I admit, I was happy. This past year. You’ve made me feel things I’ve never felt before. I’ve never been happier or full of life until you,” she paused. “Min, I – ”

“Ssh!” he put his finger on her lips. Everything that he ever wanted was in front of him. Everything, but something held him back from just immersing himself in it.

Chingboi moved his hand and said, “Min, I’m sorry I have to tell you this. We’ve to…” She couldn’t continue. She choked. And drops of tears came streaming down her cheeks.

“I have to go.”

That was it. The bitter-sweetness of those last four words framed it all. He heard the words in his mind, but he was quite unable to process them

Mimin searched her tear-ridden eyes for something, anything. Everything now seemed to fall into pieces. His voice sounded deep and drawn out and his movements seemed like something out of a dream. At that moment, they shared a painfully sweet kiss as tears rolled down her face. He didn’t want it to end. It wasn’t fair. He whispered as their lips parted, “I love you.”

With her dark brown eyes, she looked at him, “I know you do. I’m far too sorry this has to happen. I have no choice.” She couldn’t stop the tears anymore. They flowed as freely as her emotions now. “But,” she said through the pain, “I don’t love you.” That had to be the biggest lie that ever slipped her lips, but she had to say it for the good of him.

“You don’t mean that. You can’t say that after all this.”

“May be I’m not the one for you. I’m going off tomorrow, and you’re going to find someone who is better. I know this here,” she pointed to her heart, “and you need to know this here,” she pointed to his heart.

Mimin took her hand and pressed it to his heart. “My heart knows nothing but you, and I’ll wait for you. Even if it takes an eternity.” But, deep in his heart, he knew his words wouldn’t affect her anymore.

Flashes of memory came flooding in his mind. Sweet ones. Sad ones. And else. He was saddened not because he was about to lose his love. He was rather saddened by how the society had become increasingly materialistic, stratified and prejudiced towards the poor and the downtrodden. He was saddened by how the education system in Manipur had lain crumpled so much so that one has to say solemn goodbyes to loved ones, and friends - thereby creating, over and over again, a wide disparity between the rich and the poor. The thoughts made his heart throb wildly. He became angry, wanted to yell, scream, shout, cry, anything to get his feelings out.

But when his eyes settled on her dark, tearful eyes, he was dazzled, mesmerized, and, fascinated by her charm. He said slowly, softly, seeming to weigh every syllable that he uttered, “You came into my life, left footprints in my heart, and now you’d be gone like the wind.” He paused briefly, and continued, “I just want to thank you now for the memories of things we did together. I thank you, love, for everything you’ve done for me, everything you’ve meant to me. I pray that we’ll meet again somewhere in time…”

Their eyes locked for one long moment. At last, Chingboi said, “Goodbye.”

Then she was gone. And he was alone with her final word.

It was 12.00 a.m. He walked away and looked at the sky. It didn’t rain but the breeze was cold, colder than the previous night. In the distance he could see the sprawling town of Lamka stretching out asleep, peaceful and quiet.



[This is a work of fiction. The author has taken some liberties in playing out the live reality of our society. Any resemblance to actual events and persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.]

© vaphualization october 2006

Delhi Siamsin Khawmpi : Mimal Muhdaan

Lawmpa, Sang Valte in a heina Tokyo khopi apan Delhi Siamsin Conference nuamtak a zatzoh ahihtaak thu, Zogamonline discussion forum a geen a a om in, hiaithu hongelh hi. Ka lung a khoih mahmah.

[ Q U O T E ]
"Singdang gamlei ah sawlbang hei in, ka pianna gamlei gaal in don veeng. A mual in hal, tuisuah-giat in hal, hizong ka lunglai ah daibang thaam - ka pianna Zogam lei.

Ka laizom siamsin zata-te nunnop zailaa sak, nuihchiam leel leh simthu leel zatam te ngai in huibang mau veeng... Maimit in ka mulou in, ka bil in ka zalou zong, thukizakna tuamtuam tungtawn a ka zaak te'n ka lung taisak hina maizeen e... Tua pupa laa leh gamngaih laa sakna leh nunnuam a leenkhawmna mun ah kei zong khaubang chiahnuam hina ing e...

Ka pianna gam kisia in, lungziinna in a dimzong, Zosuan zatam kawlgam-vaigam ah sawlbang heite'n, haanchiam in siambang sin a, tuunnu Zogam ngilhlouh chih simthu ka zaak chian', ka bil a di'n ging kilawm hina tel e... a zak nuam hina tel e...

"Khangthakte khanglou ta, maloubang panta uh lungdam huai... machiang suan diing, tolh lou ding, tolh kiklou diing!!"
[ U N Q U O T E ]

Ke’n leeng hiai khawmpi ka siimna a kipan mimal’ muhdaan khenkhat ka neihte k’on gelhtei ringot deh!

RAISINA MUAL a kipan phavaang huih hongnung hiauhiau te’n Delhi siamsin te, a bukna kawm chiat uah hon zeelsuak a, kumkhat a dia khatvei kipolhkhawmna hun omsun, SSPP khawmpi, a gim a honglaang haat panpan ta. Huchiin, theihlouh kaal in sports hun a hongtung a, nuamtak in a kizang bei a, lametna liantak toh i na ngaak, conference hun a hongtung zomtou a, tomchik sungbeek i matkhawl theih ma in a hon luanliam san manzeel hi.

Tu in keimah in tutkhawl deeduu in ka ngaihtuah kiik a, ka mitkha ah a honglang dundun hi. Khat khit khat. A baanbaan in. Tua hunnuam te.

Innlam ka omlai a kipan Delhi SSPP conference hi video a etnuam ka na sathei peetmah a, vaisai tute ka na ngaisaang ngoihngoih mai hi. Khanglui vai leh khangthak vai tonkhawm sak helhel gige hi’n a kilang. Adiak in, gam-le-nam dinmun hileh, siamsinna lam toh kisai hileh, thu kigeen leh kinialna te bang mimal tak in ka na phattuam pih thei mahmah.

Awle, a sakmin thang Yamuna luigaal a kipan October 14, 2006 ziingni hongsuak khia in bangchi daan hiam khat a siamsin te’ khoveel ah kikhenna hontun di’n lametna liantak ka na neimawk hi. Kei leeng tua diing in nasatak in ka na kisakhawl hi. A ziing a ka kisil zohkuan sim in phone a hongging a, kawtsim niuniau in ka va saang hi.

Heutupa Thangkhanlal Ngaihte ana hi hi. Tu ma a gamgi kuamlak a Kawl sepaih te’ mat, unau mi 21 te’ tanchin hondong a, ka theih daandaan in ka kikum uhi. "Abang! Conference hun kuankuan a hiaithu!" ka chi lungsim hi. A manmoh simziak in hunsawt ka lakei uh.

Huchiin, amun ka va tungngeei a, a kongtual a taanzau in a nuam mahmah hi. Auditorium kong ah mun lian huntawk, loupa hing dim mitmet in om a, alai a suangtung lak a kipan tui a luang ziahziah hi. Tuukthei-taithei tuamtuam a kipan mipi te kikum khe sauhsauh in a sunglam a kizuan nainai hi. Lia-le-taang fel taktak te’n tutna diing mun a honkawk muh ua, huchiin hiai hunnuam ka honzang panta. Mipi leeng a kitam mahmah.

Kong polam noptuk in a sungleeng ana nuam mahmah hi. Huihvot in honzaap helhel a, thawmging luandaan a chiang a, ngaih a nuam mahmah a, mei vaakdaan in i omdaan a sunuam tuam a, dohkaang tung a screen liantak a lim tuamtuam hong kilang leplep zeel te’n mit a taisak tuan mahmah hi.

Huchiin, ahidiing bangtak in hun kizang tou ziahziah hi.

Hiai kipolhkhawmna hun a a mimal tak a "thupi diak" ka na sak, bangzah hiam te geen uthuai ka sa.

Khatna ah, laa kisa te leh tumging te. Geelkhawl ahihbang in hiai khawmpi ah a tamzaw te i Zo laa ahi. Tumging tumsiam tak te’n mawitak in honzuut ua, i suan mahmah zai oihsiam te’n gamngaih laa hon awi diaidiai ua, dohkaang tung apan Zokuam gamlim, mual-le-taang, sing-le-lou, Zodawn vaangkhua tultak, keu bimbem te khawng hong kilang dundun a, meivaak hongmial sim diidee a… I pumpi, i lungsim leh i kha te ngaihsutna leh veina thazung a lawn in a ki om hi. Chihuum bang a thou sungsung hial. Pastor Khamkhanchin (Delhi EBCC) in hichiin geen hi: "Khopi changkaang tak leh mun nuamtak a conference zang himahle hang, nop i sakdiing bangtak a nuam kisakhin lou hi’n ka thei. Zuunlouh Zogam tulpaan’ kai, chia laa i sakkhiat ngoihngoih te ka zaak chiang in khasiat huai ka sa."

Nihna ah, lapau-lavui geen kidemna. A mangthang kuankuan, Vai gam a khangkhia a, i minam’ khangthu, tawndaan, ngeina leh pau-le-haam te bang a theihdiing zah ua theipha nawnlou, naupang neu chikchik te’n i lapau-lavui te hongeen khiat kaukau chiang un, pahtaakna toh kiphawksuah thakna lungsim toh, mipi te’n dingkhe zeen in khut kibet khum zuazua hi. Dai dide a limtak a ngaikhia a, ana tu ngiungeu hunkhop leeng a ki om. Kei leeng tua te’ lak ah ka tel hi. Aw, ipau-ihaam gil hinah e! Mawi hinah e! Hausa hinah e!

Leh, atawpna di’n, Heutupa Thangkhanlal Ngaihte leh Lamkhanpiang – mimal tak in, leh pawlpi’ sik in. Heutupa Lal in hun honlaa a, Shri Oscar Fernandes, Hon’ble Minister kiang ah memorandum piakna nei hi. A thutuun ahihleh May 6, 2006 ni a Singngat gam leh Kawl gam kikhenna mun a singsaat mat a om Zomi 21 te’ dinmun ngaihtuahsak dia ngetna ahi. Tua mi 20 (naupang kum 6 mi peen khahkhiat hita) te kum 12-15 veel mattaang dia thutan khum a om ahi uhi.

SSPP vaisai te leh heutute’ thilhih pahtaak huai ka sa mahmah. SSPP conference a hiaibang thil a hon puakkhiat uh thupi peetmah hi. Ka ngaihtuah a, tukum SSPP Delhi’ thuluu, "Building Relationships" ahihlam ka theikhe thakthak hi. Hiai in gah thupi tak a hon suangkhiat ka lamen. Ei-le-ei kaal ah.

Huchiin, lamzang tak a hun zatzoh ahih in innlam zuan in kipai ta hi. Ka tuanna bus uah mi a tam mahmah mai. Mi kheempeuh in nuam kisa chiat hi’n ka thei. Houlimna te leeng conference thu ngen ahi lailai hi. Lawmvual lungtuak te nuihchiam leel in a nuikhawm laihlaih ua, annbang ki-it, lianu-taangpa bangzah hiam te leeng kikhelah tak in a tukhawm tittet ua, tua te ka et veelveel chiang in ka lungsim ah thawmhauna tak khat a hongdawn khe mawk hi.


© vaphualization october 18, 2006

A luang dimdim zailaa

INNLAM KA omlai apan Delhi SSPP khawmpi video a et nuam ka na sathei mahmah hi. Adiak in tumging leh laa kisa te'n mit a hiipthei hi. Mun changkaang takmai, sound system chiang fekfok toh tumging tumsiam taktak te'n honzuut ua, laa hong kisa te ngaih a nuam peetmah hi. Saaplaa thakthak a hong kisak bang in ei Zo' laa te leeng a hong kisa zeel a, Delhi SSPP te ka na pum ngaihsaang khasek hi. Hunthak toh kimil kawmkawm in mualdawn vai leeng i na paipih gige hi’n a lang.

Mipi kipolhkhawmna peuh ah thu-le-laa a paikhawm diing ahi. Ging kilawm leh zailaa te’n mipi te hon su thathou a, himahleh a ‘kilawm tanchiang’ peel a a honggin chiang in a aphuai zeel. Mi i tuam dungzui in i ngaihtheih zawng leeng a tuamzeel a, huaibang kaal ah i kitheihsiam tuah uh bang a ngaihna chiang omleh kilawm. Chi tuamtuam – hiauhiau, trahtrah, zohzoh, burbur leh adg. adg. te a hunlel a a hong luankhawm chiang in i bil, i mit, i kha leh i lungsim hon tawldam sak hi.

Tukum SSPP khawmpi ah heutu te’n lungpi geeltak in eimi laa kidemna sai honsawm uhi. Hiaidiing in tamtak te leeng ana kisakhawl ta ahi uh, chih theih in om hi. Ngaihtuahna khat ah, siamsin laasiam te buai mahmah diing un a gingtaak huai. Ziakbel, laa lampang ah i niam mahmah ua, laa nalh sakdiing i haukei. Lengtong Pauno, S. Chingnu, Zorock, Thawnkham, Rabbi, Benjamin, Mimin. Gelhbeh diing dang a om nawnkei. A thak a om nawnkei. S. Pauginmuan in phamta, miluun Thangboi Mangte’ laa, Sakmeel etlawm a remixed thak loungaal laathak i neikei. Hiai in laa tualleeng lam a i niamdaan a langsak hi. Himahleh, bangtan hiam paita apan Pathian’ laa lam ah maa i sawnzek un a lang hi. Lalboi Valte leh anau, Grace Siamte; baan ah mabaan limchi taknei, hong khangkhe dek panpan, Gloria Chiinlianniang leh Vungthiankim te i minam in Pathian laa lam a kinepna te ahi uhi.

Khomial a omleh khovaak a om. Thu a omleh laa a om. Sabiakna laa a omleh khoveel laa leeng a om a ngai. I pau, i nam, leh i dinmun tawisaangna di’n a thak in i laa te uh enchian in, puahpha ni. Khangthak te’n a gil mahmah i lapau te uh sinsiam in, keembit in, zuun in, zang in, tulai vai toh kimil tak in i laa te uh puahpha ni. Alter Bridge i ngaihsaan dungzui in Muana Ngaihte’ laa te ngainiam tuankei ni. Eminem laa te i saksuah theih bang un Pauno’ laa te leeng sa thei ni. Huchimah bang in Tuivai gaal a i unau te’ laa te i pahtaak bang in, eimi laasiam, hong kipan khethak sunsun te leeng pahtawi sawmni. Eimi te ahihnaak leh "a thringthing toh", "a siam lolouh (u) toh" chih ngaihdaan kumlui i neihpeen paihkhiat hunta hi.

Hiaibang a heute’n eima’ laa te pholhkhiat thak tupna ziak a kidemna honsai peen uh naaktak in kithuah pih in, i laa te uh a kiseelna kawm uapan laisuah in, khoveel theihdi’n i phoulang diing uh. Gamngaih laa, Pathian laa, zawl laa, laa tualleeng te eimi laa beat paidaan naraan a sa bang om in, vai te’ beat daan a paibang om in, saap te a bang enton a sa in, hih zuahzuah le a nuam mah di! A thawm a ngaih mah di!

Huaichiah, eipau a rap laa siang diktak hong kisakkhiat kaalbang kingaaklah ta mahmah eingaal ve.

[Siamsin Bulletin New Delhi Oct. 1, 2006]

Guun gaal a saltaanna

NAUPANG Pauminthang in kha 3 vaal vingveng, Kawlgam a taaninn a genthei tak a hinkhua a zatdaan a mangngilh ngei nawnkei diing. Tu in bel a nu’ kiang ah lungmuang tak in a ihmu theita diing. Mahleh, a zaalmang in bangzah vei seen naubang a kaplai dia? A lawmte, a u te, a gamkuan pihte’ omdiing daan a ngaihtuah chiang in a lung amuang tuankei diing. Chikchiang in a hongpawt kimthei diing u’am?

Apaita May 6, 2006 a Indo-Myanmar gamgi zuul, Aisih mun a singpua mat a om te’ mabaan diing a limchi hetkei. Amau te kum 12-15 veel thong kediing a thu tankhum in om uhi. Hiai in mipi te’ lung hon suphawng mahmah hi. Bangchi daan? Bangziak? Ahidiing mah ahi diam? Bangmah theih ahikei. Singsaat ziak a kum 15 heenkol va bulhdiing chih i ngaihtuah chiang in a kithaman hetkei hi.

Hiai mat a omte’ taangthu hong kiveikhiat daan bulsuutna i neidiing.

I gam a sing tawmta ahihman in i gaalleh lam a gammaang te i luhlouh ngaal lampi dang a om nawnkei hi. Neekmuh theihna diing kong kihong om mahmah lou ahihna ah ahidiing him mahleeng ahi. Kimohsak theih ahikei. Ahia, hiai in thil lauhuai tak leh thil zumhuai tak a hon tuaksak ta. Phalna bei a gamsung luut, guta chia mat in i hongom ta.

Hiaithu hong kitheihkhiatna ahihleh, May 15, 2006 a Unaupa H. Khamkhansuan in Varanasi apan SSPPNet a a hon kaapkhiat tungtawn in ahi hi. Kha khat veel a kidiah nung in leeng hiaithu in koitan mah a deengpha kei. Mat a om innkuan te’n palai sawl in Singngat bial MLA Thangso Baite va kimuhpih ua, aman “DC leh MP (Outer) kiang ah a thu ka na tundia, a pawtna diing un pan i la diing,” chiin na khamuan hi. Hiaiteng himai. Abaan bangmah omlou. Police ah complaint bawlna omlou himahleh Singngat OC Kamzathang, SI’ panlaakna ziak in May 24, 2006 in case chiamteh in om (pan) hi.

Huchiin, khakhat vaal a kiveinung in, amasa peen diing in Heutupa Thangkhanlal Ngaihte in The Sangai Express (Lamka Impression) ah June 11, 2006 in hiaithu hongelh hi (Unheard of, uncared for). Hiaihun tan in leeng Lamka hi’n Imphal hileh thuthak saite kuamah apan bangmah thu zaak ana hinaikei lai hi. Tuazoh in Singngat ah Unaupa Dongkhansiam in OC Kamzathang va kimuhpih a, thil omdaan va kanchiang hi. Mat a om te’ min, hihna, gari bangkim theihsuah hong hi a, huchiin, hiaite pansan in Heutupa Thangkhanlal in Imphal a tanchinbu te ah a tanchin uh hon suahkhe ta hi. Singngat leh Delhi kizopna ziak a a thu hongthang khethei phet ahi hi.

June 24, 2006 in Zomi Human Rights Foundation Delhi Cell in MP Mani Charenamei kiang ah memorandum khia a, MP pu in leeng June 26, 2006 in union home and external affiars minsters ah lai ana khaak a, a kuulbang a Burma heutu te kiang tundiing in kuun hi.

Hitamahleh lametna khovaak muhdiing bangmah a omtuan kei.

Hun hong kivei zeel a, August 3, 2006 ni in MP Mani Charenamei in Lok Sabha ah Indo-Myanmar gamgi zuul a Zomi nnaseem, mi 21 mat a omte’ dinmun taangkouna nei a, a kinlam a khahkhiat ahihtheihna diing ua panla diing in ulian te phuutna nei hi. Huchiin a tanchin te uh zaak a hong hipan ta. Mahleh a thu uh donsak ahinai tuankei lai hi.

Parliament a thu tut hita, chia lametna liantak toh ngaak ahihlai in Mizzima news in thuzaak nop huailoupi a hon puangkhe ta. August 26, 2006 in Tonzang Township Court in a tungthu uh geelna nei a, sabet ziak in mi khat kum 15 taaninn a taang diing in thu tankhum a, midang 19 te singsaat ziak in kum 12 taangdiing chi hi. Nupang kumching lou peen bel khahkhiat ahi. Amau te ahihleh Kalemyo Township, Sagaing Division sung a Inndainggyi prison-cum-labor camp a koih diing, kichi hi. Mizzima news in a geenna ah a tuung in Burma vaihawm te’n mat a omte’ kiang ah sum ngeen ua, tua hileh thunung-thuma omlou a khahkhe diing un kigeen hi. Himahleh bangzah ngen uhiam, chihbel theih hilou hi. Burma gamsung daan in, gamdang mi mat a om te, township level court a dinsak theih hilou himhim hi. Huaibel Tonzang a court in a tungthu uh geel theilou diing a, Chin State khopi Hakha a ngaihsut diingdaan ahi hi.

Tu in laizom mi 20 te’n Burma jail ah hinkho thak honpan ta diing uhi.

Hiaithu i ngaihtuah chiang in a hehhuai a, hihtheih bangmah a om tuankei. Malsuah bial a teeng i hihna ziak ua nelhsiah a i om peen ut in utkei lehang leeng pomsiam mai ngaidiing bang hi. Ahia, kha li sung vengveng hun a kivei nung a a thu, a tunna diing mun tung nailou, chihpeen lungliap huai lampang ahi. August kha tawp a Tonzang Court in mi 20 te thutanna a bawlkhum tan in leeng Yanggon a Indian Ambassador in a thu bangmah zakha nailou lai hi. Pu T. Khankhup, IFS, Ambassador, North Korea in September 5, 2006 in Delhi ah Ministry of External Affairs (MEA) a a saipi pa va kimuhpih a, tua pa’n kintak a Yanggon lam a thu tutdiing in thu pengaal hi.

Amah, Pu T. Khankhup in thil paidiing daan, a guhgeel, nouneel tak in hichiin geen hi: “A sungte ua pan dolkhat, a lungkhamna uh geenna leh hongkiik uh a deihdaan uh ngetna om dia, tua peen District Administration in Manipur a Home Deptt. ah khaak diing a, huaite'n MEA ah khaaksawn diing a, MEA te'n a nnaseem taktak diing Indian Embassy kiang ah khaaksawn toudiing hi. Huchiin hongkiik theidiing bang in omta le uh, travel document piak baihlam tuan mahmah ding hi. Huchilou in bel khah hile uh leeng hiaite India mi taktak hi uhiam, chih dotna hongom nawn thei hi.

Tuabang kaal ah AITSA President Pu Khamchinpau Zou in a pantheihna lam ah a hihtheih bangbang in MEA lam ah ana buaipih hi. Lok Sabha/Rajya Sabha Secretariat a sem imi-isa te’n leeng pan ana la siausiau ua, MP Pu Mani in Burmese embassy te leh External Affairs a mi poimoh te kimuhpih touzeel a, tolhlou a panzeel sawm ahihdaan geen hi. “Gamgi zuul a zuihdiing policy, nou a dia hoihdiing, honkhung un. A gaal lehlam tuak a teeng mi te chikhat-sakhat na hihna uah, solkaal in daan a hon bawlsak theidiing. Huchiin, ke’n phualpi solkaal ka na phudiing,” chiin MP Pu Mani in geen hi.

MP pu in a hon awlmoh mahmah ziak in aangtan huai peetmah hi. A saanglam ah awlawl a thil hong paidik diing in lamen phot peuhmah le. Huchibang kawmkaal ah, a niamlam, eilak a pan i na laakdaan te uh i etchiang in lungtun huailou bang hi. Hiaithu toh kisai in innlam a i pawlpi neih te’n a buaipih khaaklam uh bangmah thu a kiza kei a, hiai in dotna tamtak a piangsak hi.

Hichibang a imi-isa, 21 hiilhial Burma jail a khum bichilh a a omlai un, buaipih naaksaang in Singngat bial MLA Thangso Baite in a buaipih te su nawngkai tu in na pangmawk hi. Parliament tanpha a taangkou pih ahihnung in MLA pu’n, “Mi 21 te Burmai jail a om hilou ahi uh, gammaang a om ahi uh,” chi diaplel hi.

Mi’ gam a phalna bei a singsaat a mat a i va om peen thil hithei mah ahi. Huchia i tungthu uh phualpi solkaal in hon nelhsiah peen leeng ahidiing him mah ahi, maalsuah mite i hi ngaal ua. Ahia, bialtu MLA khat in hichibang kampau a zatpeen ‘haihuai’ deuh hilou hia?

[inputs from Zogam.com and SSPPNet]


© vaphualization september 15, 2006

Beyond the Guun Valley

SOMEWHERE DEEP in a Myanmar prison camp, a heart cries out for home in utter desperation: “Have they left me to rot in this place?” Somewhere in a distant land, a daddy lays in the lonely silence with his only company – the memories of his children, family, and home and of his buddies who would, perhaps, never return back again. And back home, sorrow-filled eyes gaze at a photo on the wall, draped in a traditional robe– a dad, and a husband – whose hope of return dwindles with each passing day.

It has been over four months now that some 21 helpless daily wage earners from Muallum and the surrounding areas within Singngat sub-division in Churachandpur, Manipur were captured by the Myanmar government for illegally intruding the international boundary. So far no positive developments have come to the surface. MP Mani Charenamei raised the issue in parliament and pleaded with the External Affairs and Home ministers for their immediate and safe release. They were arrested on May 6, 2006 along the Indo-Myanmar border near Aisih village in Tonzang area of Chin State. It’s true that either side of the border is inhabited by the same ethnic Zo people. They use to cross over the border in search of their livelihood without any disturbances from any quarter as they use to return to their respective homes on daily basis. An international boundary may demarcate them, but deep within their hearts, they are one people.

While the anticipation for a concrete outcome is still running high, a rather disturbing news has emerged. Our worst fear begins to transform into reality.

Reports recently came in that 19 out of the 21-odd persons were sentenced by the Tonzang Township Court to 12 years imprisonment for their alleged timbering activities. One person was sentenced to 15 years rigorous imprisonment for poaching and Pauminthang, a six-year-old kid, was being freed on humanitarian grounds. The 20 convicted are being incarcerated in the Inndainggyi prison-cum-labor camp in Sagaing Division, Myanmar.

No wonders that the largest democratic government in the world turns a blind eye to the plight of its citizens all through these months. We are ‘here’, the government is ‘there’, and the fact that 20 north-easterners get over 10 years jail term out there in Myanmar has nothing to do with the national security.

A similar incident took place last year. This is not the first of its kind and may not be the last either. So, rather than a fire-fighting approach, it is desirable to take a longer perspective. Economically. And ecologically.

Due to relentless jhuming and deforestation for timber trade, our hills are increasingly getting bald-headed. This naturally leads to soil erosion, decreasing fertility, climatic change and landslides. We clear our forests to provide food for our increasing population. The timber trade exists because of the demand for domestic fuel and brick industry in urban centres like Lamka and Imphal. Without adequate power supply, there is a handsome market for timber and charcoal. This business has been going for almost a decade within Manipur. Villages in the ‘Zodawn’ area had survived on this trade for a whole generation. Due to the depletion of forest on the Indian side, we are beginning to invade the other side of the border. This eventually leads to embarrassing situations.

While it is crucial to bail out the helpless victims of poverty, it is important to highlight the need to change our attitudes towards our environment. Similar problems confront tribal communities in Mizoram, Madhya Pradesh and Western China. But many of them successfully overcame these challenges. With a little help from the government and training in innovative methods of farming, many tribal communities managed to move out of poverty. Distress migration into relatively better off places across the Tuivai river in Mizoram or into urban areas may be a way of coping with the economic problem. But this cannot be prescribed as a solution for all. Rural areas or the countryside needs new designing for this. In order to have a viable economy, some kind of grouping may be helpful. But I know the practice of jhuming cannot support big villages. That is suitable only for scattered families over large tracts of thick forest. But jhuming cannot give any income or even food [generally understood as “rice” among us] for one year. In another sense, jhuming devastates our environment and drives people into both ecological and economic poverty. This is a deadly trap.

What is important is to shift form jhuming to alternative and more productive methods of farming. Meanwhile people need something to eat during the transition period. Moreover, indigenous and outside investors cannot be attracted in rural farming unless the state provides basic infrastructure like roads and health care to our villages. There are entrepreneurs interested in investing in farming and related activities like fishery and animal husbandry. But they were pestered by some unwanted social elements, who demand taxes and even forced them to move the hell out of our land. Till the reforms in 1991, our country had been indoctrinated in the doctrines of Nehruvian Socialism. That was totally anti-entrepreneurial. It was against enterprise-culture. The contempt for entrepreneurs is deep-seated within our society – especially within the church. This resulted in a dependency culture where everyone aspires for Government jobs, sanctions or all kinds of sarkari privileges.

To some extent, we are chained to poverty by our social attitudes and outdated education. While our training in English is the most marketable skills we could get, the outdated content of our education crushes and paralyzes most people. It made them utterly useless – or rather harmful – for the society.

The solution for the villagers and townspeople remains the same. We urgently need to develop our infrastructures. Any politicians who can do deserve public support. Election agendas should be dominated by our real economic problems. And not by some imagined elements, foreign threats or the like. The threat of political corruption is the greatest threat for our helpless villagers along Tedim Road and Guite Road. This threat will surely lead to more economic and ecological poverty, physical and spiritual deprivation, malnutrition and slow death itself.

Meanwhile, far away in the valley of despair, beyond the Guun river, the quavering cries of the 20 helpless victims refuse to die down - all the while being heard by deaf ears, and seen by blind eyes.


[Note: Guun river is the other name for the Imphal river. It enters River Chindwin from Manipur and flows into the Irrawaddy in Myanmar.]


© vaphualization september 7, 2006

SMS-es mei di maw

Khoveel thak ah i teengta. Misi kou di’n mun gamla pipi khe a paitung angai nawnkei. Kithuzaakna di’n laithon kikhaak tuah leeng atawm hiaihiai ta. Meelmuhlouh tongsaan bangleeng hunteng a vazat angai nawnkei. SMS khoveel a teeng i hihtaak man un kithuzaak tuahna a ol mahmah ta hi. Abiik in, tulai in service tuamtuam te ah free offer a om a, hiai phattuam pih in SMS, khuai vaitung bangmai in, i kikhaak tuah huthut hial uhi.

Hiai ah SMS thu leh a poimohna te kikup sawm i hikei. Alehlam daih ah, bangchi bang a SMS in i laipau hon nawkkha hiam, chih i endiing. SMS i kikhaak chiang un a tomthei lamlam, a simtu te’ theihsiam diing daan in i gelh uhi. Saappau ahihleh pau piching ahia, i utdaan teng in heikawi lehang leeng a paidaan khat ana omsa om hi. Ahia, i pau peen a pichin louh baan ah paidaan zuihtuam a neikei a, a gelhtu’ deih daandaan a heikawi ahimai hi. Hiai in buaina a hontun gige.

Lawmte khat in hichiin geenngei hi: "Tulai SMS hahgelh theilua ing a, ekzamna a bang a tomngen a vagelh kha dek!" Saappau ahi i geen. Eipau ah en lehang, SMS i gelhte’n naaktak in laipau i gelhdaan a sukha. Huaiziak in pilvaan mahmah ngai hi. Tulai khangthak te i pau gelhdik siam i tam hetkei. Va gelhdik siam chihbang leeng thil namai ahikei. Bulhkhawm, repkhawm, khenzaak, khenkhiat leh a neuhneuh hihdiing tam peetmah hi. Ahia, a poimoh zual khenkhat a om hi. Huaite i endiing.

Paite Laipau Saipawl in i pau ah ‘J’ taang in ‘Z’ zatdiing chi ua, laimal ‘O’ leh OU’ a tuam ah, baan ah a tomgin te ah ‘O’, a saugin te ah "AW", leh thumal saugin te ah ahithei tan a vowel zatkop diing chih ahi. Etsakna, Toupa aw, zaanmial nuai ah honleen in. Khenkhat te laimal ‘I’, ‘E’, leh ‘A’ zatdaan a buai leeng i om hi. "Emu ta m?" chia hong ki mesees leh bang chu kibuaitop maidaan ahi. A zatna te uh enni: "Ehe, ihmu hakvee!" Ahia, SMS ah grammar diktak vazui ni chi bel i hituan saamkei.

Baan ah, SMS khenkhat ah laimal ‘W’, ‘X’, ‘Y’ bang i hahzat sim ua, hiai in buaina hontun phetdiam, chih dotna piangthei hi. Huaibel, a keypad meek nopdaan zir a i zat leeng ahithei. Etsakna, ‘kwateng’ , ‘bangxiak’ , ‘hya’. Ahia, hun hongthak toh kiton a i paidaan khentouh a, behlap zeel bangleeng thil navaak huai khat ahi. I pau suk hauhsakna khat ahihman in. I lak a a kulmuut pawl in bel hiai a deih lawmlawm kei diing uh. ‘Mahleh, khangthak te’n "kikheekna" i ngaina uh.

Himah lou hya?

[Siamsin Bulletin, August 20, 2006]

By The River Lanva, I Sat Down And Wept

[ C H A P T E R O N E ]

I hope someday we would break free from these chains and fly in the clear blue skies. Up, up and away into the lost paradise – our dreamland, Zogam.

Blood has spilled. A lot of blood has spilled.

The recent fortnight has witnessed an alarming spate of violence erupting in the streets of Lamka, our dear old domain. Sporadic gunfights between armed groups, senseless hail of gunshots, extorting money from local businessmen by some scrappy hooligans, torturing innocent civilians for no apparent reasons have increasingly flared up, again and again, with alarming regularity. We have always been through such random acts of violence and to me, it seems we all have become fairly accustomed to them.

I am not going to delve into the whole lot of situation. I won’t dig further down the road. And I won’t suggest any outcome either.

But lots of innocent civilians have suffered. This has become a matter of concern now.

When the sun goes down in the evening sky, fear begins to darken the picturesque town, and cold terror lingers into the night. Armed guerillas begin to reign, roaming free around the town under the flickering neon lights, flashing their guns at people who they think belong to a particular community, and beat them up till their spines give way. And the night usually ends with a big bang. One more drip. One more death. The story doesn’t end here. The toll is likely going up in the days to come.

Following this hazy chain of unsavory events, one after the other, give me a freaking headache. There isn’t a damn thing we could do? Just how helpless we all have become! Just how far we all have been victimized! How long are we going to let loose these raving lunatics in town? There isn’t really anything we, the people could do in a land where camouflages and M-16 rifles reign. I shuddered quietly, trying to calm my racing heart. Perhaps the dawn would bring us light. That seems to be the only refuge we have.

In the latest turn of development, four persons, including a pastor, from the Mahanaim Home, a rehab center in Vengnuam, Lamka were brutally tortured on the night of July 17 in Bijang by some unknown armed miscreants. They begged and pleaded humbly for mercy. The perpetrators knew they were innocent. But still they simply were not set free. They were beaten the whole night. A couple of months ago, a mentally ill person was killed at Kamdou Veng and about a week later, some young thugs threatened a journo not to ever set his foot again in Tuibuang area and knocked him cold. We would never know why. That is left to our own reasoning.

Horrific violence seems to sprout everywhere and communal tensions are on the high, yet again. This unprecedented spasm of violence seems to push us closer to all-out ethnic war. A woman was shot dead yards from her home in Hmar Veng on July 19. Two opposing arm groups were engaged in a bloody gunfight on July 10 in Phailian and a drastic re-run of the sequence followed suit on the night of July 12. (I am pretty sure there might be some more incidents which I miss out.)

I don’t really give a damn on what’s the fuss all about. Or who gets killed or by whom or why. They are simply nauseating. But something terrible has troubled my mind. And the very thought of it makes me chill to the bone.

Ten years ago, automatic assault rifles were the most advanced form of arms our ‘guys’ used for combating. That’s during the 1997 ethnic clash. More and more sophisticated weapons have evolved and now, landmines, lethal bombs and RPGs become part of our military strategy. Bombs have now been widely used among civilians. I don’t know what would become of us say, five years down the line. This is quite disturbing. The blame could be squarely put on Meitei UGs. They are the one who invent this culture. Our precious lands are now littered with landmines and munitions. Innumerable lives were snuffed out and limbs were maimed indiscriminately. The grand, sinister Meitei spirits of death, divide and destruction are freely let loose in our land. I wonder why are we too blind to let ourselves swept along by this tidal Meitei current. When are we going to wake from our hypnotized slumber?

The time has now come, I think, for us to stand up, speak out, and fight back. The time has now come for us to get united. We had suffered a great deal, and lest we act fast, we are doomed to eternal damnation. But the sad truth here is that we just love to fight each other in our own way - and not against our common enemy.

I am quite prepared to believe that my views and writings will be misused by right-wing fanatics and extremists. I know some may even find them offensive. My solution is simple enough: don’t read the damn thing — that way you won’t be offended, if ever you were. And don’t call me a radical. I am simply being rational. Or rather emotional.

And as I sat down by the river Lanva in passing thought, multitude of repressed memories came swirling in my mind. I thought of all the good times we have had in our lovely, little town of Lamka. I thought of all the sufferings our people had to endure as a result of the surreptitious penetration of the divisive Meitei ideology into our land.

And I wept.


© vaphualization july 26, 2006

Lametna Nizung A Vaaklai In

[ J U L Y 7 , 2 0 0 6 ]

KUM KUA paita, tuni in a mangngei nawnlou di’n Singngat khangthu gelh in ana om hi. Hiai ahihleh Singngat Puuksiat Ni* ahi. Khopi thupi leh etlawm takmai, Singngat vaangkhua ana puukse ta. Thoungei nawnlou diing in. Tuni tan nidang bang in Singngat a paakluun zou nawnkei. Nelhsiahna nuai a khosa mipi te a di’n lametna a tawm ngeimai. Huchihlai in sepaih te’ panlaakna tungtawn in khosung puahphat hong hipan ta a, hiai in mipi te thathou sak mahmah hi. ‘Mahleh, huih hongnung in thil buaihuai pipi hon peisuah hi. Ahia, meipi kawm apan nizung hong kikhoh khethei zeel hiveen maw.

Kum sagih paita in India-Pakistan gamgi Drass mun ah General Arjun Ray, PVSM (Retd) in mipi te a khut vaan in avai leplep hi. Himahleh amau a ngaihsak kei uh. Hiai in mi te’ lungsim a langchiang sak mahmah hi. India in hiaibang a mipi te’ khohei daan apan a lungsim uh ana man hileh 1999 Kargil buaina a tungkei maithei.

Huchiin, Kargil buaizoh a kipan in India in khanlohna thak khat a honnei hi. Meithal haatna in gaal a zoukei a, mi te’ lungsim zohna in gaal a zouzaw, chih hon theikhia hi. October 10, 2001 in Gen. Ray in “Helpawl te’ nnasep daalna di’n Operation Sadbhavana (goodwill) pat ka sawm,” chiin puang hi. Hiai in a tup ahihleh Kashmir gamgi lak a mipi te - nna hoihsep tungtawn a - suk lungkim a, mipi te’ panpihna toh helpawl te doudiing, chih ahi. General Ray in hiaibang nnasep te Maal-Suah bial leh Naxalite te haatna mun te ah leeng pat ahidiing, chiin geen hi.

Operation Sadbhavana, a.h.k. military civic action, ahihleh hunthak a gaaldou daan chikhat ahi. Hiai nnasepna’ khuampi ahihleh “mite’ lungsim zohna” ahi. Kashmir phaizaang a mite lak ah sepkhiat in na om a, nnasepna mun diing te Army headquarters in a lemsak pih khitchiang a phualpi solkal a kipan sum hongpai ahi hi. A lampi sialtu sepaih te ahi ua, amau district vaihawmtu te, NGO te leh mipi te’ makai te toh kithuah in nnaseem uhi. A huapkhaak deuh te ahihleh, lasinna lam, damtheihna, khotaang khantouhna leh numei te dopsaangna lam ahi.

Operation Sadbhava a lohching mahmah hi. Hiaiziak in mipi te’n sepaih te kithuahpih in helpawl te awl in heemkhia ua, sepaih te’ kiang ah thu poimoh taktak hilhtu in hongpang ta uhi. Hiai in helpawl te’ masawnna naaktak in daal hi. Pakistan-tosawn helpawl te’ suksiat lei, lampi leh skul te bang sepaih te’n tungding ua, solkaal nnaseem te’n leeng a sepna munchiat uah hongkiik nawn pan uhi. Huchiin khua tamtak tunding in a om hi.

Maal-Suah bial ah leeng hiai MCA project naaktak a sepsuah in om hi. Kia geenlouh, i district sung, leh i Zodawn khua khenkhat te ah leeng. A kipahhuai mahmah. Solkal nnasewem te taihsat sa; electric, telephone leh khoveel changkaanna in a bat phaaklouh khua te a hiaibang nnasepna eite a di’n a hamphat huai mahmah hi.

Lt. Gen. ZU Shah, GOC 3-Corps in Singngat ah December 14, 2005 in hiai MCA nnasepna di’n a suangphuum honna nei a, Singngat “Border Model Town” suahsakna dia panlaakna hidaan in geen hi. Hiai diing in Rs. 3 crore sehkhiat in om hi. A fund kihawmzaak daan te i endiing. Govt. High School building puahphatna - Rs. 6 lakhs, library & recreation centre - Rs. 12 lakhs, children park - Rs. 2.5 lakhs, boys & girls hostel - Rs. 50 lakhs, traditional gates - Rs. 3 lakhs, solar-based street lamps - Rs. 12 lakhs, singkung 500 suanna diing - Rs. 3 lakhs (hiate 2005-2006 sung a zohsiang diing); community hall - Rs. 42 lakhs, water harvesting scheme - Rs. 16 lakhs (2006-2007); leh, vocational training centre - Rs. 10 lakhs, stadium & indoor sports complex - Rs. 35 lakhs, bus stand - Rs. 9.5 lakhs (2007-2008). Chiltui kaizeen in simtheih leh kilawm. Lt. Gen. Shah in hiai nnasepna tengteng 2008 tan a zohsiang hidiing chi hi.

Huchiin, tukum bul a kipan hiai nnasepna pat in om hi. ‘Mahleh, mipi te’ kinepna khenlam pek ah thil a hongpai ta. Lohbei a nna sepsak in a om uhi. Nikhat-ninih lel ahikei. A kaal a sim, a kha a sim bang alou-theilou a kuan ngai ahihziak in neektawm zong mipi te buai peetmah uhi. Lah, lohngaihna a thei tuankei uh. Hiai thu awlmoh in unaupa T. Dongkhansiam in sepaih te’ tatleekna te tanchinbu tuamtuam ah na “phoulang” a (IFP May 20, TSE May 24), kintak in Singngat a om 2nd CO leh engineer pa (Major/Adj, talpaak te) suankhiak in omngaal uhi. Adaantak bel, a heutu lam te’n mipite lohbei a nna sepsak diing ahihlam ana geelkha ngeilou himhim uhi. Huchia suankhiak a om officer te’n unaupa Siampu sam in kou toh thuah in sal zialzial uhi. Simmoh kampau kha taktak zatkhum uh a, adiak in talpaak pa’n bang, ei, singtaangmi te hon simmoh mahmah hi. A na lotel. A kha lotel. May 23, 2006 ni ahi.

Hiai thu in khoveel kilchih a Zomi te a deengsuak pah hi. Internet discussion forum te ah kikupna a sousaang mahmah. Zodawn mipi mawltak te’n hiaibang a nelhsiah a a omlai ua, leh Lamka a media te nasan in a nelhsiah lai ua, a tanchin te uh Denmark, Ireland, US, Congo, New Delhi leh gam tuamtuam a om Zomi te’n a na thuakpih mahmah ahi uh, chih a theih chiang un kipahna khitui a nuullou theikei uhi.

Capt. C. Tonsing, (DR of Congo) in, “Army te chihman a lauhbawl leh achih peuh uh hihdiing chihna hilou ahi,” chi hi. “Civil mi lohbei a nna sepsak chih peen army a.h.k. para military rules/regulations khat peuh ah kimukha ngeilou hi,” chiin Major Thangson Shoute in geen hi. “I dikna thei in sepaih te’n diklou tak a honhih chiang un anai peen 57 Mtn Div (Leimakhong) ah report pahpah thei le’ng kua’n hon simmoh theilou diing ahi.”

Hiai tungtaang ah ngaihtuah diing thil poimoh thum a om. Khatna ah, military civic action himhim mipi te’ a diing liuliau a sep ahia, huaiziak in mipi te suk lungkimlouh theih ahikei. Nihna ah, mimal in ngaihdaan leh deihdaan geentheihna di’n zaleenna zaautak i neichiat uhi. Bangmah in a honkhaam theikei diing. Sepaih hi’n paih-lou hitaleh.A tawpna leh a poimoh peen in, hiai nnasepna bangchi daan a pai a, sum bangzah sehkhiat hi a, mabaan a bangchi paidiing hiam, chih mipi te’n i theitel a poimoh hi. Huchiin, ei a diing mah ahihziak in naaktak in kithuahpih ni.

Tu in boys leh girls hostel diing lam zoh ahita. Khosung mun tuamtuam ah solar lamp tun in om a, zaanmial chihbang a om nawnkei. Kung 50 veel diing sing suanzoh ahita. Mawltual lai nasan ah. Khosung luutna mun leh pawtsuahna mun ah keelkong khat tuak kibawl lel a, community hall kong ah childrens’ park diing bawlna pailel hi. Tuilawng leeng bangzah hiam a tungta.

Huchiin, Singngat mipi te’n Hausapi mual a ziing ninou hongsuak khia lametna liantak toh en in, kum 9 sung ana thuak uh, meima pawn awl in haaihul panta uhi. Lungthuul Kawl a suunni a tumkhiat khit in, zaan meivaak phingpheng nuai ah naupang te “milawngpi”, “giitphiik” leh “thengh te” khawng kimawl in om zaizai uhi. Nya, nopta lozeen a!

© vaphualization june 29, 2006

* July 7, 1997, Zomi-Kuki gaalbuai lai in Singngat vaangkhua buluh in om a, inn 150 veel haaltum hi a, poikhoihlou, numei, naupang leh puteek tel in mi 18 thah ahihbaan ah mi 4 kaapliam in na om hi. Hiaihun hongtun toh kituak in athak in Zogam a diing a hinna pete zahna i pia hi.

“Phamsa mihaang te hong iitlua ung e
Na sakmin ngaih uh zaila’n awi ung e
Na phamna haang uh lung in ngilhkei ung
Khangsawn te’n hongzuun panta ung”

b a n g z d a a n a l e !

July 1, 2006 ahia, daak 04:16:01 pm geih ahi.

Ka phone apan +913874234260 ka dial a, bangtan hiam a ring apai nung in a hong ki pick-up hi.

"Hello," ahon chi hi.
"Hello, hiai Manipur Express office hya?" chiin ka dong hi.
"Hi, himah ei."
"Aw, kei Lunte, Delhi apan hi'ng a maw, ii... kua peen ale ka houpih khaak?"
"Editor ka hi."
"Aw, Pa Lian maw?"
"Hi."
"Ii, khatvei lam a na mail ah ka article gelh honkhaak hi'ng a..."
"Bangthu a?
"Singngat, Thangso Baite thu kha. 'Just Where is Thangso Anyway?' chih peen."
"Huaikhawng suahsuah a ngaisaam a!"

Geendiing tasam in ka khawlcheuh a.
"Ana mulou neid'uah aw? Suak, suak nailou..."
"Khatvei a suakta hilou mo?"
"Lamka ah ka lawmte ensak ing a, amau suak nailou chi unchin..."
"Ah, ka theikei!"

Phone naakpi'n a hon kikoihkhum a, huaiteng ahimai. Ka geensawm peentak ka geen naikei.

Khovel polam a om chihtheih phial diing a nelhsiah a om Zodawn a mite a zawng ua, a mawl ua, a genthei ua, kuamah amau panpihtu diing a neikei uh. Heutu, amau ngaihsak diingleeng a om ngeikei.

Kei ka hihleh bangmah ka hikei. Neih-le-lam, siamna-pilna, tanau-laina hileh suandiing bangmah ka neikei. Ahia, ka mite ka awlmoh a, ka hihtheih tawp a amau te panpih ka ut gige hi. Naupang chicklai himahleng khoveel mun tuamtuam ka na tuankha saam hi. Haksatna leeng tamkhop ka na mualsuah ta. Zodawn hinkhua ka thei a, Lamka hinkhua ka thei a, Phaipi hinkhua ka thei a, Kawlgam hinkhua ka thei a, Mizogam hinkhua ka thei a, Vaigam hinkhua ka thei. Singngat apan Tedim Road dung khe a pai in Behiang a gamgi kaan in Kawlgam ka na luutkha ngei a, Khuadam, Cikha, Tuimui, Seerbung, Haiciin tawn in Tuimaang lui leh Tuisaa lui te liau gaalkai in Lungleen kham en in Mizogam ka na tung ngeita. Vaikhotlang mual etlawm takmai thliirveel in, Kawlbem ka na siik a, Selam, Hiangmun, Teikhang, Miimbung, leh Ngopa ah ka na kivei ekh kha ngei hi. Huchiin, meileeng a tuang in vaigaam zaang zapi kaan in New Delhi phual ah bangtan hiam hun ka na zangta. Mun tuamtuam a mi tuamtuam te' hindaan, khotaang leh khozak zia ka buukkaak chiang in Zodawn a i mite hehpihhuai uh ahihdaan ka mukhe deuhdeuh hi.

Tuma in Singngat mite' gentheihna leh MLA Thangso Baite ('Thangsuah' chi a amin sim nupi bangzah hiam om!) in a nuaisiah daan pona lua in ka hihtheih khomkhom in "Just Where is Thangso Anyway*" ka na gelh nimnim a, news portal tuamtuam a khaakdi'n ka na pia hi. SSPPNet, Zogam.com, Lamka Post (June 20, 2006) leh Imphal Free Press (June 20-21, 2006) ah a tuang hi. Mite'n Zodawn dinmun hon theihpih uh deih mahmah ka hihman in i deihthoh mahmah uh, Manipur Express ah leeng ka na khaaktei hi. Ahia, tutan suahkhiat in a om naikei. Aziak bel ka thei ngeikei diing.

Tu in article thak khat ka gelhnawn hi. Singngat a MCA project tungtaang ahia, July 7, 1997 Kaatsiat Ni' champha phawkkiik thakna di'n hongtung diing July 7, 2006 in suahkhiat ka sawm hi. Miteng in a simkhaak vek uh ka deih mahmah hi. Lamka Post ah ka khaakta. Ka article masa Manipur Express a suah a omlou ahihman in a e-mail uh, lawmte apan ka theih (h.b., lianlangel@yahoo.co.in), pailou ahidiam, chih ka thei ut hi. 'Ziakbel, athak khaaknawn ut ka hihman in.

Hiaithu te dongchiang ut in office ka phone ta.

Huan, ngai in, hichi a honghi ta hi. Period.

Bangchi daan ahidiam, ka theisiam kei. Vaallua ka hi diam? Thil theichiang ut lua ka hi diam? A daan theilou ka hi diam? Ahihke'h awlmoh louh diing pi awlmoh kha?

Hiaithu ka gelh kawmkawm in, "Huaikhawng suahsuah a ngaisaam a!" chih ka bilkha ah a ging lailai a, ka lungsim mitkha in singtaang dawn a naupang, skul kaina diing neilou a, napgeep bimbem a 'kaangtalai' tuang bombom te khawng a honglang dundun a...

Ka theikei. Bangmah ka theisiam kei.

* http://vaphualization.blogspot.com/2006/06/just-where-is-thangso-anyway.html

Guun Lui Khenlam Ah

KUM 6 LEL a upa, naupang Pauminthang in atung a bangthil tung ahia, chih a theisiam kei diing. A ngeina daan in a u te’ gamkuanna a zui a, a ngeina daan mah a inn tungkiik mai di’n a kikoih hi. Himahleh a naupang lungsim’ ngaihtuahna khenlam pek ah thil a hongpai ta. Gamlak a sing laa a a kuanna mun ua pan Kawl sepaih te’n bangmah geentam lou in a pimang ua, tuni tan inn a tung naikei uhi. Bang hihkhial ahi ua chihleeng a thei tuansaam kei diing. Atheih ngeilouhna gam ah zaan bangzah a tuun ngai in a kapta dia? Bangzah vei gilkial-dangtaak in a nu a samta dia?

Huchibang mah in kum 16 mi, Pauminlian in chickchiang a a lawm te toh skul kaikhawm theinawn diing ahi ua, chih a theibaan kei diing. Aman tulel in JNV Tuinom ah pawl giat (VIII) sim hi. Pauminthang ahihleh Hiangtam(K) a Thangsuandal’ ta hi a, Pauminlian peen Haiyang a Soilal’ ta ahi.

Hiai naupang nih te tel in Indo-Myanmar gami zuul a sing laa a kuan mi 21, Kawl sepaih te’n May 6, 2006 in na mantaang ua, tuni tan khahkhe nailou uhi. Amun ahihleh Myanmar gamsung a Aisih ahi. Amau bel Singngat apan suahlam gamgi zuul, Theigotang leh simlam, Salap leh Lunjang khua a sing pua a neekzong ahi uhi. Tua gamte ahihleh gammang thupi taktak, sing lian leh hoih taktak omna ahi a, gamgi chiamtehna leng hoihtak a omlou in tuplouh pi a Burma gam tun pahpah theihna mun ahi. Guta, gamsung a phalna bei a luut chih ngohna pansan a mat a om ahi uh. A tamzaw Muallum khomi hi ua, a dang te Sumchinvum, Haiyang, Belpuan, Tangpijol, Hiangtam(K), Suangphu, Lunjang khawng apan hi uhi. Hiai khua te bel Singngat khokiim a om ngen ahi. Baan ah, shaktiman gari thum toh leng matkhawm in om ua, tua gari neitu te Hausuan, Kaitom, leh Suanthang ahi.

Atuung in hiai thu police ah tutpah ahikei. Singngat police station a OC, Kamzathang, SI’ panlaakna ziak in May 24, 2006 in case chiamteh in ompan hi (Section 447/342 IPC & 27 Armed Act). Ahilel a geen in Singngat SDO, DC leh MLA – hiai te’ nnasep khiat kichian tak a muhdiing tutan om nailou hi. Bialtu MLA, Thangso Baite in atuunglam in kitheih mohbawl sim mahleh, mat a omte’ innkuante’n MLA pa’ kiang ah palai sawl ua, thu omdaan va geenpih uhi. Aman, “DC leh MP (outer) kiang ah a thu ka na tun dia, pan i la diing uh” chi hi. Ahia, bangchi daan a panla ahi ua chih bel theihbut ahikei. Hiai taangthu in koimah a deengbaan kei a, niteng tanchinbu te ah leeng mun a tangzou kei.

Hiai thu gelh ahihtan in mi 21 te Tonjang (Myanmar) khua a sepaihte’ lock-up ah omlel uhi. Neek-le-taak piak in a omkei ua, gari neite’n a sikvek uh angai hi. Huaibel, niteng in mikhat tung ah Ch. 30.00 – Ch. 50.00 seen in omleh, a gawm in Ch. 630.00 – Ch. 1,050.00 kikaal tungbaan chihna suak hi. A omna khua uh sawt lota ahihman in gari neitu te’n haksa sa peetmah ta uhi. Hiai sum te leh vanneen, kisilna diing sahbon khawng sum a guai in Cikha (Myanmar) mi te’n va pe zeel uhi. Ann huantu diing nasan kiloh a mi alaak uh angai hi. Gam tuantual tak, Myanmar a taaninn a om a gentheih huaidiing daan i ngaihtuah khiattheih mai uh ka ging.

Hiai thiltun a khatveina ahikei. A tawpna leeng ahisam kei diing. Tuma in Muallum khomi 3 Theigotang gam ah Kawl sepaih te’n na manngei ta uhi. Huaiziak in a meikuang phelhmit mai sawmlou a, saupi a diing et a panlaak poimoh mahmah ta hi.

I loubawl daan leh sing phuuksiat te ziak in tu in i gam ah singkung tawm in a keugawpta. Vuahtui a hongtawm dia, leihoihna kiam in leisai tolhkhia in kho omdaan a hongdang sot mahmah diing hi. Tu nung sawtlou in. Hiai gammaang sing te ahihleh khopi lam, Lamka leh Imphal veel ah meichih diing, innbawlna ding leh thil tuamtuam di’n kizang hi. Meivaak ginna lou ahihman in meihol leh sing deihna a pung hulhul a, lut leng a luun mahmah. Hiaibang a singsaat a neekzong in (adiak in) Muallum leh akiim a singtaang khua te akum a sim na khosa ta uhi. Huchiin, i gam ah sing hongtawm deuhdeuh ta a, i gaal lehlam a gammaang te luh louhngaal lampi dang a omnawn kei hi. Hiai in buaina a hontun ta.

Tua mat a omte’ pawtkhiat theihna’ng lampi i ngaih poimoh kawmkawm un ikiim-ipaam a thilsiam te kepbitna lam leeng i ngaih poimoh a ngai hi. Hiaibang buaina Mizoram, Madhya Pradesh leh China (tumlam gam) in leeng na tuaktham ta a, himahleh amau hiai buaina te ana mualsuah thei uhi. Solkaal apan panpihna tungtawn a loubawlna lam a thilthak kisinsakna ziak in hiai gam te ah migenthei tamtak te’n zawnna kol na suutkhe thei ta uhi. I gam ah leeng bangzah hiam te’n khopi lam leh Tuivai Lui’ gaal lam a peemkhia in zawnna dai na kaanta ua, himahleh nuutsiat a om Zodawn mite’ makhua diing i geel uh kisam hi.

I khosak daan, neek-le-taak dinmun khansakna di’n khobing a kigawmna (grouping) hiai ah phattuam thei di’n a lang hi. Ahia, kumteng a louneihna mun khengzeel i hihman in a gamlei in sawt ahon dawlzou tuankei diing. Huchih kawmkawm in i loubawl te’n kum khat khamdiing ann a piangsak zou nawnkei uhi. Baan ah, hiai loubawlna in nasatak in i gam, leh a sung a sing-le-lou leh gamsa te, susia in hih mangthang a, hauh naaksaang in mipi te zawnna kokhuuk ah awlawl in ahon keniamsak hiaihiai hi. Atom a geen in thaang lauhuai pi kikamkhum i hi maimah uhi.

I loubawl daan khengkhiak a, a tamzaw a piankhiat theihna diing lampi i zon a poimoh ta hi. Hiai kikheekna hunsung in i hintheihna diing lampi dang leeng i ngaihtuah a ngai. Ahia, i gam ah vanzat kiningching bangmah omlou ahihman in a haksa mahmah zeel hi. I lampi te a hoihkei a, tui a hoihkei a, bangmah hoih a omkei. Gamnuaimi te’ kigolhna ziak in bangmah saitheih ahikei. I vek ua i kihilh pil phot uh ngai leh kilawm abang hi. Farm bawlna, gankhoina, ngasa khoina leh lam chi tuamtuam a sumdawnna pan ut ei lak hileh, gamdang apan hileh, mi omtham hi. Himahleh, amau te’ nnasepna daal diing a kisalah thei i tam ziak un bangmah pichin theih ahi ngeikei hi.

Gamdang mi te’n i gam a sum hongdawn diing deihlouhna lungsim i khotaang ah a uang mahmah hi. Hiai ah saptuam in leeng moh a pua. Kum 1991 malam tan a India in ana paipih, Nehruvian Socialism zui i batna chiang a om hi. Hiai ahihleh i khanmohbawk khat ahi. Polam mite’n i gam ah sum hong peikual le uh a daandaan hongom diing ahi. A puakkhiat tam dungzui un a kivei leeng a tambok diing. Lampi dang omlouh ziak in solkal a sepna, leh sanction neuhneuh i pumdelh uh angai maimah hi. Bangtan hiam ah, i paihkhiat moh, i khotaang lungsim putzia leh i kisinsakna kumlui tak te’n eima’ zawnna diing lampi sial abang.

Hiai i buaina te khota a teeng mi te leh phaizaang a teeng te’n a kinlam a i sukven a poimoh hi. I thuakdiing ulah a kibang ngaal a. Hiaibang a panla theidiing makai mipi te’n i tasam hi. I elekson azenda te’n a veng ngeilou diing i politikal buaina te saangmah a i ekonomik buaina te a kawkzawk diing ahi. I taang a ding heutu te’ neekguukna leh nelhsiahna ziak in tu in i gam in nasatak in a thuakloh. Mipi te’n i thuakloh. Adiak in Tedim Road leh Guite Road dung a teeng mizawng taktak te’n. Leh mualdawn a teeng mi te’n. Hiai khoveel vaihawmna a i thaangtatna te’n ‘neektaak dinmun’ a zawnna, ‘khoveel gou leh gammeang’ lam a zawnna, baan ah ‘taksa’ leh ‘khalam’ a zawnna hontun a, huai in awlawl in manthatna liimguam zuan in a honpi hi.

Huchihlai in laizom mi 21 mangbang tak a kikou te’ awging a dai naikei. Mahleh, zaak in a om naikei lai uhi. Tua Guun gaal ah.


© vaphualization june 22, 2006

Just Where is Thangso Anyway?

AS THE WHIRLING wind of the legislative assembly election starts blowing, stories of ministers promising hefty developmental funds and distributing the popular ‘red shawls’ among the deserved lots begin to do the rounds this time over again. I fail to grasp the reason why this hullabaloo has to wait all these four years only to be revived now. And at the end of every five years, the same old story continues.

They said this is politics, this is Manipur. And worse, this is outer Manipur. I hope I don’t get that wrong.

When I was a small school kid, I dreamt of becoming a politician one day. I could see just how mighty politicians were, with myriad of ‘yes’ men hovering around, and a substantial amount of money at their disposal. They were being venerated as idols and everywhere they went, they carried the airs of a celebrity. Oh, how I wished I could become one someday! However, this perception began to drift away as time went on. Be it politics or politicians themselves. We were told that ‘politics’ is the art and science of governance, and that government must be people-oriented, transparent and efficient. But from our own experiences we come to learn that politics is a dirty game, an arena of the struggle for power and more powers. And the essential qualities for any political system like people-orientation, transparency and efficiency don’t seem to find their place in the present state of affairs. Politics tend to be considered as a mere means of securing income. Or let me put it quite this way: it is a means of occupation. Now, this is the politics of Manipur I am talking about. This is how politics has been played in Churachandpur. You grab it, you have it, and you want to have more.

Singngat happens to be one of the most devastated arenas where political gladiators – using ethnicity as a political tool to mobilize support and gain power – are engaged in a real mortal combat. Their games are pretty high, played by maverick players. With eyes wide shut, the people followed the path laid by the leaders at any cost, to any extent, and in the process they went too far without knowing the fact that an iron curtain had descended across them marking a wide communal divide. The rule is clear here. You are a Paite, go for him. You are a Zou, go for him. You are a Thadou, go for him. Perhaps, that day isn’t too far when the ‘go’ gets changed to ‘kill’. (Hey, that thing happened once or twice in the past, right?)

From Gouzadou to Thangkhanlal down to N. Zatawn, et seq., I had watched them grace social functions, misleading the public with ornate promises which were never really realized. They emanated supreme control over the hypnotized crowd who were swaying and applauding with the promise of a better tomorrow, and of building Singngat into a kind of "New Jerusalem." Their motives were to garner vote banks. Just that. When the results were out and all things said, the newly elected MLA zoomed down the Imphal valley reneging on the promises he had made to the people. But long after the excitement died down, the innocence still lingered in the minds of the people. And they still continued to hope that their representative would, somehow, make a noble appearance once again to shower upon them the light of the new age he had articulated sometime before with fervid eloquence.

Their wait seemed to last an eternity.

Nothing has changed. Singngat still lays a moldering ruin. In fact, the 1997 ethnic clash has left a clear mark on these once beautiful, serene Singngat highlands - dark and deep. Through this day the people of Singngat, who are now scattered across the globe, still recall with fond memories the good old days when peace and tranquility prevailed. Life was so good and the town was prospering exceedingly well, with different ethnic people living together harmoniously. Oh, but those were days never to be seen again.

A decade has passed. Yet the breaking of the dawn is still a far cry for the poor Singngatians. Apparently, they are lying low awaiting the return of better times. Here I am, lost in reverie, looking out over a now-turned-into-a-small-hamlet so quite and still and dark it could well have been a sort of post-apocalyptic. And the words on the street are clear. Empty. Desolate. Neglected. Abandoned. The government machinery has completely collapsed and there is little, or no, sign that this place is part of the Indian state. Gone are the days when well-equipped doctors and nurses attended to patients under the sprawling expanse of the hospital building in downtown Singngat. The building is now a little more than a colossal wreck, standing in a forgotten corner, slowly wasting away as time goes by. The Singngat SDO office complex had given out long ago and the office guys had been working somewhere in New Bazar, the heart of the district headquarters for quite sometime. The situation now begins to improve a bit. But the SDC, who is in-charge of the office, still continues his oh-so-religious trait. He seems quite reluctant to miss the Sunday worship services at home. I am wondering what future has in store for those poor students whose school – the Singngat Govt. High School – had been occupied by the Army though it may seem a fringe benefit for the teachers working there. And the people would call it their lucky day when doctors made an occasional fleeting visit, that too once every two months or so.

Obviously something is wrong somewhere. But in the end who gives a damn anyway? Water scarcity and dilapidated Singngat-Lamka road condition had been grappling the people of Singngat since time begun. I am aware of the hardships people have to undergo in fetching water to as far away a tiny stream as over one to two kilometers, everyday, which is flowing in barely more than a trickle. I am aware of the overwhelming fear and uncertainty that is running through their minds when people take a bus ride down Tedim Road, especially during the rainy season. Through this day, the infamous ‘Zezaw tou’, the most terrible part of the Tedim Road stretch, continues to haunt travelers using the roadway. Just imagine how the bus fares between CCPur-Imphal (over 60 kms.) and CCPur-Singngat (barely 30 kms.) could be the same. But their deafening voices are unheard, their dying cries are disregarded.

Meanwhile, Thangso Baite, the constituency’s MLA, resurfaced on the limelight recently after having been hibernating for years, with a far different reason. While the people are wailing with a soulful anguish over their condition, the MLA seems just as interested in conferring meritorious awards to the successful first class candidates of this year’s HSLC examination from within the constituency. And that too within the comforts of his posh home in Lamka. His passionate interest in education may be attributed to his having an MA degree and his serving as the principal of Christian English H/School in Sugnu in the early eighties. In the meantime, 22 villagers of the sub-division are being incarcerated somewhere deep within the Myanmar’s military regime. The safe return of these men to their loved ones depends entirely on the diplomatic policy of the MLA, only if he is still the same ‘master strategist’ as he had been in the 2002 election. In some way, his assumption of power quite reminds me of the way Benito Mussolini rose to power way back in 1922.

After having been elected as the MLA, Mr. Baite has made just two visits to his constituency till date. That’s a whole four-year period. The fact is that he just made occasional noises to demonstrate that he is still there, somewhere, chilling out. The first visit was in early 2004 and the last one was in April 23, 2005 as part of the CM team, where the CM laid the foundation for a 33 kV sub-station in Singngat. And everybody knows that the project wouldn’t be completed till the foundation stone withers away. Yet, the Singngatians still have a reason to smile amidst the hype. During the recent Assembly session, Shri Devendra Singh, the then Works Minister, in an answer to a question posed by the MLA, announced that – a whopping – Rs. 112.04 lacs has been spent in Churachandpur to Singngat road construction for the last three years. Plus, the CM, on the occasion of the Congress Workers’ Meet held in Lamka on June 10, 2006 said that a sum of Rs. 2.5 crores has been sanctioned on Singngat-Lamka and Lamka-Sugnu roads combined.

And now all I can ask is just what the hell are the CM and the Works Minister talking about? The above-mentioned amounts could nowhere be seen in the entire 30-km stretch of road from Lamka to Singngat. Where has Thangso Baite been all these years? Perhaps, if he made just one last appearance to the people of Singngat and see their conditions with his own eyes, that would sure bring a sigh of relief to the people, even if it’s for a fleeting moment. The people, bogged down by neglect, deprivation and hopelessness over the years surely know not to ask for more. Just one more visit and they would gladly clap their hands. And he would, perhaps, win his second term hands down.

© copyright vaphualization june 17 2006

Because It’s Good Friday

THERE’S A GIRL who sits right next to my cubicle in our office. We used to have casual talks whenever we’re free. Our discourse mainly concerns certain client-related things since we both are dealing with the same client and at times it tends to slip away from these usual office gossips into the secular world, and then onto some mild religious talks. If she’d found a real nice story on the net, she would tell me the URL of its page. And I would do the same for her.

I remember giving her some inspirational and moving Christmas true stories which I’d downloaded in my system last December. I’d asked her about them, inquiring how the messages struck her and she said she liked them.

Last Friday, after we were done with our workload, I was reading some da Vinci Code-related articles. She too was browsing the net, goggling the words “da Vinci”, “Dan Brown” and all. I could see she was wholly engrossed in it, with her eyes intently fixed on the blinking monitor screen.

After some time, she said to me, “Lunte, what do you do on Good Friday?”

“Hmm, I guess you’re caught in the middle of this da-Vinci-syndrome. Right?” I grinned back at her.

“No, no. Just, what are you gonna do this Good Friday?” She sounded serious.

“Well, I will certainly go to the church, worship and thank God for everything He did for me…”

“And why do you celebrate it? “ she persisted. “Like the purpose, importance, and all, you know.”

“Oh, Good Friday’s the commemoration of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. You know, He was crucified horribly at the Cross some 2000 years ago.”

“Then why do you call it ‘Good’? It’s not good at all. It has to be a Bad Friday.”

“Uh huh, you and your good old skeptical ways,” I laughed. “It’s good because He died to save us all from our sins, not only Christians, but for everybody in this world…”

At that moment the team coordinator came up and gave us another job. I felt like the world caved in on me for I’d just let a great opportunity slipped off through my fingers. I couldn’t continue, though I wanted badly to go on and tell her that Jesus died for us to save us all. That we are now free. That if we believe in Him, we will have an eternal life. And that it’s good to celebrate Good Friday.

Having been unable to find the time and pick up the topic where we’d last left, I gave her a copy of an article by Josh Harris, “The Room” (see below). It’s a story that helps explain what the Lord accomplished when He died on the cross for the sins of the world. It’s just too motivational that it moved me to tears the first time I’d a grasp on it.

But I don’t know if it answers her query. And I don’t know if she ever read it.

© vaphualization april 13 2006

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T H E R O O M
by Josh Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed".

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I Have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed At." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled At My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done In My Anger," "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath At My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented. When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't mattered now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared With About My Belief In Jesus." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished!"

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

© Copyright New Attitude 1995