Siamsinna, Lohchinna leh Nam-iitna

[1st Prize Winner, SSPP Delhi 'SAAI Competition 2005']

NAUNGEEK IN a piantuung in kahdaan leh nu’ nawi teepdaan kia thei hi. Hiai leitung a ahong khosuah theihna di’n thilthak hon sin toutou a, huchiin, hiai kitaitehna a dim khoveel ah ahong khanglian ta. Hun hongpai zeel a, a nnasep hahkatna ziak in a thilhihna ah lohchinna thupitak honngah ta hi. Ahia, lohching khat himahleh ama’ lohchinnna in mi’ aa diing leh a khotaang a di’a phattuamna aneih keileh ‘lohchinna hawm’ a suak diing. Hiai bel mihing hinkho paidaan ngeina ahi hi.

Thumapi:
Thumal ‘siamsinna’, ‘lohchinna’ leh ‘nam-iitna’ te a khiatna tak uh tuamchiat mahleh mihing’ hinkhua ah panmun, poimohna, phattuamna leh kizopna daan khat nei uhi. Hiai na(quality) thumte ahihleh tulel dinmun a i khotaang in khangthak te - adiak in siamsin navaak mahmah te - apan a kinepna lianpeen ahi.

Khoveel khantouhna huu in munchih honzaap suak a, uutthu hilou in khoveel kitaitehna a i teeltei a ngai hi; thiltung te apan va kidaang koihtuam theihlouh ahihman in. Khoveel khangthu adia khantouhna leh masawnna huihnung haatdiak hun(‘zabi) a omkha ei siamsin te’n mohpuak inei lian mahmah hi. Huihnung honghaat deuhdeuh diing peen a bohzuidaan isiam poimoh hi.

Siamsinna:
SIAMSINNA KICHI paidaan zuihnei a kithumopna geena ahi. Hiai tungtawn in mihihna leh khuakpilna khansak in om hi. Siamsinna in atup -leh a phaaktawp - bel mimal buchinna ahi. Pathian in leitung a thilsiam teng’ tung a thunei leh keemdiing in mihing te honna bawl hi. Asia-apha khentheihna lungsim honpia a, kiim-le-kiang toh hinkhawm theihna di’n ‘pilna’ honguan hi. Huai dungzui in, hiai pilna ngahna di’a siamsin tuh mihing te thilhih poimoh peen khat a suak hi.

Nidang in thahaatna in vai na hawm a, ‘mahleh, tuhun in theihna in vai ahawmta. Thilhihna kheempeuh a siamna-pilna zat ahihtaak man in laitheilou te a din khoveel neu mahmah ta a, hongneu touzeel lai diing hi. Hiai khoveel a i khosuahna di’a poimoh ahihman in siamna leh theihna sin tuh i naupan lai apan patsak in ki om hi. Mi’n khoveel thil bangkim, lam chi tuamtuam a theihtelna a neihchiang in huai in amah ah hamphatna tun a, a khotaang leh a nam in phattuampih hi.

“Siamsinna kia ahi khoveel paidan khengthei” chiin Nelson Mandela in geen hi. Siamsinna tungtawn a mihing’ khuakpilna in hiai khoveel ah kikhenna leh changkaanna nasatak piangsak a, hinkhua nopzawkna di’n thilsiam thakthak puakluut in omzeel hi. Khoveel namte lak ah siamsindaan thei masa te kong bangkim ah khangtou in mi tung ah leeng ua, siamsinna in alawn khaaklouh mite leh a na khophawk hak namte bel amau ah tuantualna uang in mi’ nuai ah khosa naak uhi. Huaiziak in siamsinna tuh ‘khoveel taanvaaktu’ i chithei.

Ipu-ipa te ngei leeng amau in ginna leh chiindaan mawlhuai tak toh haksa leh niamtak in na khosa uhi. ‘Zabi 20-na bullam a Missionary te’n Tanchin Hoih hong puakluut ua, i khotaang honpuah ua, siamsinna innte honhong ua kipan i dinmun awl in a hong khangkhia hi. Mahni ommun kia khoveel hilou ahihdaan thei in siamsinna hon pibawl ua, hichiin huaigah lou in tuhun a khangthak te khoveel kitaitehna a telpha in i omta.

Ahitak in eimite, i zawnlai ziak un leitung pilna leh siamna ngahna di’n lai kisimlou a, dinmun nopzawkna diing sepna ngahna di’a simlel kihizaw hi. Hiai in i khankhiat diingbang in ahon khangkhesak theikei. Huan, i gam ah siamsinna paidaan hoih nawnlou in niamkiak mahmah a, hiai in nawngkaina nashetak piangsak hi. Siamsin tamtak te’n zilna hoihzawkna mun gamdang zuan uh a, anei zoulou te ahihleh a paidaan bangbang sialpi vuahthuak a thuak mualsuah maingaai hi. Gamdang a siamna saangzaw va ngana peen thilhoih mahmah ahi; ‘mahleh hiai in i khotaang ah dinmun kikhoukhiakna uangtak a piangsak hi. Huchi ahi a, tulel a i siamsinna dinmun i etchiang in mi tawmchik lelte kia’ khankhiatna diing bang hi.

Ahia, khoveel khan dungzui in kidemna mah leeng saangtou zeel a, achinpeen te kia’ khosuahna khoveel ahong hita. Huaiziak in, high school a kipan i lampi diing hoihtak ngiimkhawl a kalsuan poimoh hi. Mite bangtan tungta a, bangchi panlaak uhiam chih veelkawm a, eite’n i lampi diing ‘hoihtak’ isial kuul hi. Huchi kawm in, i siamsinna peen laisinna kia hisak kei ni. I pupa’ daan te, khut nnasep chi tuamtuam leh Laisiangthou thute kisinsiam tuh hunthak a siamsin te hihdi’a kilawm ahi; huaimah lah siamsinna bukim ahingaal a. Huaiziak in tuhun a di’n thil bangkim sinsiam a vaalna a om nawnkei.

Lohchinna:
HINKHUA AH thil poimoh mahmah nih a om. Huai te bel haksatna leh nopna ahi. Haksa thuak masakna in nopna hontun a, nopsak masakna in haksatna a tuunzeel. Hiai ahihleh khoveel paidan ahia, i hihtheih omsun bel apaidaan khen ahimai hi. Mihing in ipian in tavuan khat kinei him a, hiai i tavuan neihte’ tawpna tuh ‘lohchinna’ ahihke’h ‘lohsapna’ ahi. Lohchinna kichi tehthei ahikei a, leitheih leeng ahisaam kei. Sepgimna tungtawn a ngah i muh ahi. Atom a geen in, lohchinna ahihleh thilkhat hihna a tup taangtunna geenna hi a, huaipeen kipahna in zui hi.

Mihing te nopna leh kipahna zong in gamteng kimai hi. Thilhih kheempeuh a lohchin i tuppi peen ahi. Thupil in, “Kisakkholhna leh hundik a kisuktuah chiang in lohchinna hongpiang hi,” chiin na geen hi. Ahun toh kituak geih a lampi dik bohfuh theihna in mi loching sak hi. Lohchinna diing in lampi nuam a omkei a, lam tomlam leng a om bokkei. Lampi haksa teng thuak mualsuahna in lohchinna phaizaang nuam hontun theilel hi.

Tulai khoveel ah lohchinna in kong dangteng saang in siamsinna kong ah geennei diak bang hi. Siamsinna kichi lohchinna diing kia hikei mahleh mi tamtak te’n siamsinna peen lohchinna lampi hi’n mu uhi. Lohchinna diing a kalbi poimoh masa ahihleh tupna ahi. Huailou in zaw longpi, a heektu omlou bang in tuipi lai ah i mangthang kha diing. Huan, hihna lamlam a diktatna, kuhkalna, kipumpiakna leh dohzohna suah poimoh hi. Geentehna naipeen enle, i nam in asuan mahmah tu’a in milian bangzah hiamte; amau te’n a hinkhua ua zawnna leh haksatna a na thuak mualsuah daan un ei siamsinte’ a di’n sinlai hoihtak honpia hi. Huaibaan ah, lohsapna leeng lohchinna di’a a khuampi poimoh ahinawn. Hihkhelhna apan hihdikdaan i sinthei hi. Huaiziaktak in ahi laisiammi te’n lohsapna peen ‘nungzuihna leh hihkhelhna’ tungtawn a siamsindaan ana chih uh. ‘Mahleh kuhkalna apan ke’n zaw ahithei tuankei.

Atawpna di’n, sepgimgah loh tuh lohchinna ahi him hi. Ahia, huai kia lohchinna bukim ahikei. Lohchinna sungnung ah mimal bukimna, kipahna leh khotaang theihpihna a om kuul hi.

Nam-iitna:
NAM KICHI mihon geenna hi a, huai mite’ lungsim ah ‘khat’ bang a kingaihsutna leh kizopna om hi. Teenna mun kibang in tuam ta leh; khangthu kibang, tawndaan kibang, sahkhua kibang – tuabang mite’n nam bawl uhi. Nam ichih hong kipatdaan theihchet hikei mahleh mihing khotaang omtuung apan na omdaan in khangthu suut te’n geen uhi. Atuung apan mihingte kiningching tak a khosak theihna di’n ahon in na teengkhawm him uhi. Hun hongpai zeel a mihing kipawlbawlna peen a daan hong kikheek toutou hi. Mi’n a hihna kitheichian a, achipih te khual a, ateenna gam zuun leh humbit uutna lungsim aneih chiang in ‘nam-iit’ kichi hi. Hiai veina michih, amawlpeen apan apilpeen tan in aneihtheih ahi.

Nam-iitna ichih thilhoih leh thil thupi mahmah hinapi’n avaal a nam-iitna peen ahoih tuankei. Hiaiziak in khoveel ah nam-leh-nam kaal a gaal kidouna piangsek hi. Nam-iitna ziak a i unau mihing dangte’ sisan suahna leh siatna apian hunchiang in i nam-iitna peen ‘nam-iitna mitdel’ chihlouh theihlouh hi. Kumzabi 15 laiveel in Europe gam ah Halhthakna nasatak tung a, huchiin huai apan ‘Nampi iitna’ lungsim hongpiang khia hi. Huaibel, nam iitna neu tuamtuam kigawm a minam lianzaw khat a kingaihsut theihna ahi. Nampi iitna peen nam iitna chikhat himahleh hiai bang iitna lungsim thilthak ahi a, munteng ah leng omlou hi. Nampi khat in midang thunuai a omlou a, mahni kivaihawmna gam lohching tak a bawl a tup pipeen ahi. ‘Zabi 18-19 sung in hiai nampi iitna ziak in khoveel ah kikhenna leh thil chiamteh tham thupi taktak na tung hi.

Kumzabi 20-na nunglam a kipan hiai huih in eite leeng a hon zaappha ta. Khoveel pilna sinsiam mi i hongtam a, i teena gam vaihawmna leh i hunlui te ihon theihpat chiang in ilak ah kiphawksuahna hongpiang khia hi. ‘Mahleh, ei’ nam-iitna peen hulum lou in a khing mahmah lai hi. Chi-leh-kuang a kituamhuina a otziak in ilakah nampi lunggulhna lungsim guitung leh lohching tak in a omthei nai tadih kei. I khandiing bang a khang theilou in gam tuamtuam ah i minam khenzaak in ki-om hi. A kigawmsa, namkhat, namneu tuamtuam a khenneen a omte’ kigawmkik nawnna diing lampi ngaihsutna pailel peen lungsim kihong tak a michih in ithuap diing ahi.

I gam in i teena diing ‘mun’ hoih hauhsakna a dim honpia a, i nam in hiai khoveel a i manthat louhna di’n ‘hihna’ honpia hi. Hiai thilthawnpiak te ‘kepbit’ a ‘tawisang’ michih mohpuak ahi. Tulai khoveel ah gaalvan saang a laikung in thuneihzaw ahihna ah hiaibang mohpuakna te sepsuahna di’n khuak ‘pil leh siam’ tak in a makaih a, pidaan diktak a apii ngai hi. Huaidiing in tu’a siamsinte, midang teng saang in, i kisingsat uh angai hi; igam-inam’ mabaan diing eite khut a kinga ahihziak in.

Thutawpna:
TUMLAM GAM te siamsinna tungtawn in igam naaktak a dopkaang in om a, a gahsuah lohching mahmah hi. Kum 1960 veel apan laisiam mi ihong om panta a, solkaal ah sepna te nei in huai in i khosak daan hon domkaang panta hi. Khanglui chiindaan te heemkhia in awl in changkaanna lampi i zuantou ta. Siamsinmi bang pungtou zeel in, i teenna mun geentaak louh gam tuamtuam ah kithehdalh in i om a, tu in khoveel theihphaak ‘nam’ bang I hong hita hi. Hinapi’n nam tuantual leh zawng tak i hilai a, mi tam zotham te singtaang loubawl a neekzong kihilai hi. Mite i phaakzohna diing ua lampi omsun siamsinna ahimai hi. Huchi ahi a, tu “Computer Hun” a I luuttouhkim theihna diing ua lampi poimoh masa ‘Zawnna apan Salsuahna’ ahi hi.

Huan, siamsindaan i theihna a sawt nailouh ziak in hiai ‘chiindaan’ i siam zou naikei. Ataangpi’n i pate’ khang apan siam na sin panlel kihi a, khang tamtak pailiamta apan siamsindaan a thei namte banglou in ataktak a siamna vazon a vasinna di’n kuhkalna kitasam in, a min maimai in siam kisinnaak hi. Haksatna tampi thuak a mi masa te’ sepgimgah imuh, tu’a i hamphatna eite’n zatdaan i siamkei hi. Huaiziak in,hiai ‘chiindaan’ (h.t. siamsinsaan diktak) tu khangthak apan a chii hoihtak ituh angai hi.

Huchi ahi a, hiai kitaitehna hun a aminpu maimai a siamsinte ‘mi zatnabei’ ahi ua; tup kichian nei a kuhkaltak a siamsinte ‘mi ettontaak’ ahi ua; ettontaak siamsin, gam-le-nam iitna neite ‘mi muanhuai’ ahi uhi. Sepgimgah lou in i zilna kong ah lohchinna thupitak ngah in pilna-siamna saangtak nei mahlehang igam, inam leh ichipih mite khualna lungsim ineihke’n zaw ‘mi zatnabei’ i hi thouthou diing. Huaiziak in, siamsin lohching hihdiing kia tup a neilou in siamsin zattaak i hihsawm zawk diing ahi.

Somewhere I Belong

How can I tell him that I ‘belong’ to a place where I never ‘belong’? A place that is so alien to me!

ONE EVENING, I boarded a blue line bus to meet my cousin brother residing in North Delhi from Satya Niketan bus-stand. He called me the previous night telling me come and get some important papers from him. As usual, the moment I got into the bus I heard someone calling out "Hey, Bahadur!" I pretended hearing nothing, and didn't bother to know to whom it was addressed. Such insulting words hurled at us, northeastern tribals is now quite a common experience. I'm beginning to grow up with it now. My take here is that it's all part of a modern city life!

However, calling someone by the name of Chinky, Nepali, Bahadur or whatever, just because of a facial difference is awfully difficult to comprehend. You may be a Khasi, a Naga, a Mizo/ Zomi, a Kuki or a Meitei, but you face the same humiliation all in all, here in Delhi. I wonder what may be the situation in the other cities of our mainland India. Whether you subscribe to it or not, the mindset of the mainland Indians are transfixed to the belief that we, northeasterners, are inferior to them in every way and this has a deep psychological root in the minds of the people from generations past and would continue through generations to come. I often asked myself, why don't they call us Japanese, Chinese or Korean instead? Why Nepali? Why Bahadur?

As I rode on the bus, my mind got wholly taken up with reminiscences of all the past experiences I had gone through. From the moment I stepped down at the New Delhi train station in June 2004 - the sneaky auto-driver, the brutal bus conductor, the first day at my college where I was ragged thrice, the cunning landlord, etc. - to this day I had been going through innumerable mental distresses as a result of treatments meted out by the brute majority for the sole reason that I'm from the Northeast. All these reminiscences made the blood in me boil. But I could not do anything about it. Nor do I have the power to change the past now.

The man who was sitting next to me seemed quite a gentleman. He was well dressed and had a friendly, cheerful face. His eyes tells me that he qenuinely had an interest in me for some reasons unknown to me. The man introduced himself, "Hi, I'm Ravish," and I responded, "I'm Lun" After spelling out and teaching him how to pronounce my name correctly, we began to converse intimately. At some point he said to me, "You must be from Manipur," and I asked him how he could say that. He said he just guessed it. I was not surprised at all, but wondered how the hell did he guess!?

"I'm not from Manipur," I told him point-blank. You don't know how I hate to be called a Manipuri, and that I come from Manipur. Most of the times when people asked me where I was from, I usually told them that I was, rather, from Mizoram or Nagaland. The sound of my own voice responding to someone with 'I come from Manipur' struck me as if a dead blow which, I thought, is more scandalizing than when someone out there called me a 'Chinky'.

"Most of the guys I have met from the Northeast are from Manipur, and I thought that you too are from there," he said. "Um hum," I responded dismally. "By the way where are you from?" he asked me. "I come from Zoland - the land of the Zo people."

By this time, I began to feel weary talking and thought that, with this he would stop asking me questions. But I was wrong. He seemed to be more and more enthusiastic about our new topic of discussion, and even told me that Regionalism and Linguistifcs had once been his chosen preoccupation.

"Where is that place?" I now felt sorry that I talked to him in the first place.

"Well, it's a long story. You would never know where I come from. Nobody would know that's because I don't know myself where I belong."

"I mean, like, the place where you are permanently residing? You had told me that you are a northeasterner. I had never heard of such a place. Is it somewhere in Nagaland, Mizoram, Meghalaya, or somewhere else?"

To me this guy was still a mystery. He was innocent, polite, friendly, humble, truthful, outspoken. And, curious.

For the sake of intimacy we had just created, I began narrating to him who I am and where I belong. "We are a people, who are independent and secluded from time immemorial. We had our own rajas and chiefs who looked after our welfare. However, our identity began to erode with the advent of western imperialism, like you had faced a couple of centuries ago. By the middle of the past century, when the Queen of England left India our land got demarcated into separate countries, and at the present day, we are being cut across by three countries, India, Myanmar and Bangladesh. Her Majesty, the Queen had done a terrible tragedy upon us for leaving ourselves to our own fate. And worst, she never knew her mistake."

Ravish listened to me attentively. I was wholly engrossed by my own verbalization and I didn't even give him a chance to open his mouth anymore. Whether he is interested in all that I have said or not, didn't matter. My own enthusiasm let me go on and on. Which is what I did. And, thanks to his curiosity, he didn't lose his interest either. I went on.

"Actually, I'm coming from the state of Manipur but you cannot call me a Manipuri. Our place is called 'Outer Manipur' and we are alienated from the real state. In any case, to be a Manipuri here is a huge liability, what with landlords refusing anyone who they know hails from the god-forsaken state. Manipur is being associated with all the ills afflicting the whole northeastern states"

He seemed amazed at this.

"Exactly like the people of mainland India treated the northeasterners as if they are foreigners and that too, with pure humiliation, we are treated as different people in our own tiny state. All channels of growth have been barred for us. Our interests and traditions are like topsy-turvy with those of the plain people."

He agreed to what I said. I awaited some questions from him, but he was rather looking for an answer on my face. So, I continued.

“The condition of our people, and of our land is singularly different. I bet no political ideology in this world would have suited us. Though small, secluded and marginalized, we fought amongst ourselves and killed our own brothers due to identity crises. Among us. Between us.

"Which is why I had told you I don't know where I belong. I do know that I'm a Zomi, but the land I referred to as the place I'm coming from, called Zoland, is only a dreamland. But, be assured, one thing is for sure. I come from a place somewhere I belong."

Time seemed to grind into slow motion as I went on unveiling layer by layer the intricacies of identity consciousness in Manipur valley and the segmentary hill society to which I belong. The snarling traffic got a sigh and our bus speeded up for a moment. Now we were nearing my stop. We exchanged some more friendly words and then, bidding goodbye I stood up from my seat and rushed off into the busy traffic.