Lamka Vaakna leh Zodawn Mialna

I kikhe vovok tel uh maw!

Tutung Krismas innlam ka pai kei geet. Innlam ka pai nawnlouhna a sawtsim taak ziak ahi diam, innlam ka veina himhim le dau gawpgai ta h'in ka thei. Hong dau dedeuh lai kha maithei. Hiai ah, Vai khopi ah, keimah thu in ka ut dandan in ka om dia, ka kipahna diing ahih naakleh ka duhduh ka ne dia, ka utut ka hihdia, innlam te khawng bang chu, ngaihtuah ngailou pi. Ngaihtuah khaak in le a omngei mah saam ua. Ka chih hun a hongtun taktak khaak diing lau ka hi. Mi tamtak te bang a.

Innlam a Krismas zang a pai te a hongtung kiik nawn panpan ta uhi. "A nuam hia? I gam bang a chi?" chia i dot chiang in, "Nuam lua himai!" a chivek uhi. Train tuan bang chu nuam peetmah, a honhon a chiaksuk zuazua. Lampi bang hoih gawpta. Meivaak le paihoih theilua. A khua himhim le changkaang gawp. Gaal a gaalmuang ta zomah. Inn te bang hoih theilua. Nungak heel mahmah ahi a nuam peen. Nuamlua himai.

Nuamsa lou omlou uh abang. A kipahpih huai uh. Nuam a va sakna peel ua thil thuukzaw i kan chiang in a theibaan kei uh abang. A phawkbaan kei uh.

Adik mah ahi. Lamka a nuam gawpta. A thupi gawpta. A changkaang gawpta. Bangteng a kim.

Ahihleh, simtu deihthoh tak, Lamka khopi peel a Zodawn khua te i muhtheihna mit in a mubaan hia? Bangchi bang a khosa ahi ua, chih i ngaihtuahna lungtang in a phawkbaan hia? "Zodawn" chih thumal toh bang i bulhkhawm a? Zawnna, nuaisiahna, mawl-sakna, thring-sakna leh houhngaihna? Ziingkaal ann neekkuan a Hmuia Veng leh Jion Street lak a, bus -- van dim phetphut, meihol bag toh meh toh bang toh, a sung a tuang mi te le a meel uh theihbut louh khop hial a puang, leivui khu in a tuamkhum -- hongtung nuainuai te i muhchiang in bang ngaihtuahna in i lungsim a hondeeng a?

Lampi bawldia seh a om a, sum tam pipi piak a om contractor te' nelhsiahna ziak a lampi se mahmah, se peetmah, mai tawn a, tuahsiat khaak diing lauthawng leh diipkua a omden a, lam kuak leh phon takmai tung a gari in a sawina, aguh-ataang teng uh golhgawp ngiingei a Lamka khopi hongtung thei haamhaam uh ahi chih i thei hia? Haksa tak a kumkhat a khohnung ua, a louma ua haigah omsun - gamsa chi tuamtuam leh sazu' neekbaang - te zuakdia Lamka khopi a honpua uh ahi chih i thei hia? Singtang lou a kipan a kham pianglou a, neekmuhtheihna diing lampi zong a a theih sunsun uh, meihol a haal te uh - huaile a singhoih haal di himhim vaangta - zuakdia Lamka khopi a honpua uh ahi chih i thei hia?

Hichizawng in geenni.

Design nalh taktak in inn i lam a, gari suak thakthak i khopi ah i tolhluut zungzung a, moblile phone suak thakthak, changkaang taktak i tawi ferfur a, niteng a top-up card lei in i zang bei zungzung a, "star TV" mai a tu in tumlam gam te' khosak daan, omdaan leh kicheidaan te i enton a, internet tungtawn in khoveel kilchih i dapsuak. Lamka khopi ah.

Ahihleh, Lamka a kipan km 30 lel a nai Singngat khua peel a Zodawn khua te ah meivaak om nailou ahihlam i theipha uhia? Ahoupeen a geen in. Km 30 lel ahi. A kikhoukhiakna uang deuh hilou hiam? Vovok mai.

Mutheih thil a kikhiakna a om a, huaite sang in muhtheihlouh thil a kikhoukhiakna a uang zawlai hi. I ngaihtuah zawng leh i lungsim putzia a kikhe mahmah mai. Huailam sau geenkei ni. Kiphawkpih-louhna leh kinngaihsak-louhna lam i geen diing.

Innlam a vapai, hongtung thak te kiang ah, "Mautaam i gam ah om (pan) ta chihthu khawng a om a, nang amun a vapai, bang a chi a?" chia i dotbawl chiang a a hon dawnna uh ahihleh, "Singtang lam te zaw kial chi mah ve uh aw," ahimai. Mah ve uh aw. Lamka a Tedim Road zuul a thuthei deuh, dawrkai te dong lehang leeng, a hon dawnna diing uh ahihleh, "Chi mah ve uh aw," ahi ringot mai diing.

I gam a Mautaam kial om (diing) in awlmoh khenkhat a su lungliap mahmah hi. Huchihlai in ana phawkkha vetlou leeng tampi om. "Phawk" i chih kei mimal khiatna in chi nih in a khentheih: "as a news daan a thei" leh "awlmoh a vei." Vaigam khawng a khanglian eimi, a career ua tungsaang mahmah ta, khenkhat, hiai Mautaam thu i geenpih khaakleh, a hon dawnna masa uh ahihleh hiai ahi tel: "Mautaam? Bamboo flowring maw? Mizoram a kha?"

2006 May kha in Zomi singsaat 21 veel Kawl sepaih te'n gamgi zuul ah a man ua, kum 20 diing khawng heentaang dia thutan khum in a om uhi. Hiai hi thil ngaihkhawk huai mahmah ahi. Hinapi in, innlam te'n hiaithu ana ngaihsak lotel lawmlawm kei uh. Huai hunlai a i kanbawl chiang in leeng a hon dawnna uh ahihleh "mah ve uh aw," ahi top mai. Awlmoh khenkhat, mundang a kipan in a kipei ua, a tankhe thei ua hiveen.

Lamka khoveel ah, Zodawn lam te nelhsiahna leh ngaihsak-louhna uangtak mai a om hi. A ziak diing a ka gintaak khat ahihleh, i media lam te un Zodawn lamte' dinmun, Lamka khopi a mi vaantaang in a theihdia a phoulat ngeilouh ziak uh hi'n ka thei. I Zodawn etlawmna leh hoihna te taaklat in a om ngeikei a, a haksatna te uh leeng taklat in a om ngei tuankei. I tanchinbu te ua "tanchin thak" kisuah te ahihleh Lamka khopi ah a kipan a, huchiin Phaipi ah, huchiin Vaigam ah, leh khoveel mun dang ah. Lamka nunglam a Zodawn tanchin te a tuang ngeikei. A tuang sunsun ahihleh, Zodawn lam te gam vaakna a gamsa sa a ki kaapkha ua, Lamka Damdawi Inn a hong ki ensak te khawng maimai a bang. Huaile Lamka Damdawi Inn a hon naihziak uh hilai. A hon naih zoulou te la? Eimah sung a piangkhia thil te paakta lawmlawm lou i bang hi.

Huaiziak tak in Lamka mipi te'n Zodawn lam thu himhim bangmah i theikei uhi. I theihlouh ziak tak un i ngaihsak kei ua, awlmoh in leeng i nei bokkei uh. Ngaihsak a awlmoh hile, Thanlon khawng leh Singngat a eimi ngeeingeei, solkal sepna nei te'n bangziak a Lamka ah, kumtawp chiang a biak inn a sande sikul kaikim man kipahpihna saang gige uh ahia? Bangziak a contractor, eimi ngeeingeei te'n, i Zodawn lampi te hichi tel a nelhsiah ahi ua?

Tu in leeng, Hiangtam khogei ah, Behiang truck khat a tuahsia a, mi 20 hiilhial in sihna a tuak. Bangziak ahia? Hiai ah i Kristian kulmuutna zangkei ni. A sih hun uh a tunziak ahikei. A vaangsiat ziak uh leeng a hisaam kei. Hiai lei ahihleh a siat patna ahikei. A se gige. Ahihleh, hiai mi 20, singtaang mi 20 leh a liam dang te; singtaang ah khosak haksa tak a khosa a, a khua ua doctor omlouh ziak a ki-ensak dia Lamka khopi honzuan te; a louma ua piang haigah leh thil nengneng zuak dia Lamka khopi honzuan te; a khua ua neektawm vanneng lei diing omlouh ziak a Lamka khopi honzuan te; lametna liantak mai toh Lamka khopi apan a hongtun kiik nawn kaal uh ngaaklah a a khua a om a zi te uh, a pasal te uh, a ta te uh, a nu-le-pa te uh nusia a Lamka khopi honzuan te; khopi thupi takmai Lamka mudia kilawptak a gari a hongtuang te; hiai khoveel a hin ut lai ngoihngoih te, bangziak a amau te a kipan a hinna gui uh bohtah sak a om ahi ua? Bangziak in ahia? Kua mohna ahia?

Abangbang hileh, eimi te neih thilkhat, i chituamna mahmah leh i pahtaak huai mahmah na uh khat a om hi. Huai ahihleh tantawk a lungkimna ahi.

Buailai in singtang lam ah khe in ka va zinkha a, imi-isa te' gentheih daan ka mit ngei in ka va mu hi. Genthei ka chih in lauhthawnna lam a geenkei a, neek diing tasam a a omna lam uh geenzaw ka hi. I pai khaakna khua te ah, amau ann neekpih lou in, ka puak uh hiam, ka leitawm te uh hiam ka ne zaw uhi. Neek diing a taaksap ziak un. Himahleh, huaihun in, "singtaang ah kial om" chih thu himhim mundang a te'n a theih uh ka gingkei. Ziakbel, eimi te i leikou kei ua, neek diing neikei mahle hang, mi' mai a va kuun saang a ngawl utzaw te i hi uhi.

Kial ngoihngoih mahle hang.

Along the meandering Paldai Brook

MV Guite writes an article, My Struggle With A Myth on Zogam.com.

Here's the introductory para.

I have never even in my wildest dreams imagined that I would someday be haunted day in and day out by a two-word phrase I used to dismiss as mere hearsay. I feel as if I have been dreaming time and again the very dream I dreamt of the other night so much so that it turns out to be more than a dream – a reality.

Read the rest here.

My comments:

I know the author too well and I could identify myself with the many things he writes about. I read the article over and over again. I’m loving every bit of it. The para where he likens himself, humbly, to a khuangbai struck me. Quenching a never-ever-satiable thirst, putting off things for a tomorrow that never comes, a tomorrow that's a yesterday now, and a tomorrow that's still a tomorrow, eking out a living turning mangled voices into words while the entire city lies in sweet slumber… and all. Yes, we keep on fighting a hand-to-hand battle with failure, head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and have a little hope. A hope whose gate doesn’t seem as wide-open as it used to be. Like the author, I find myself wandering. Just someone lost in the deep woods. Moving back and forth without having walked a single step. Living it not knowing what it is. I keep going back to the start. But all’s full of nothingness.

And the poem is beautifully expressed, and sad. Yes, I know. I had been there. My childhood memories revolve around the Paldai Brook. I can still recall the euphoric moments of ceaseless canorous songs of cicadas … of wading through the ankle-to-knee-deep brook … of wandering with a catapult and pellets and angles … along the meandering Paldai Brook. Oh, how I long to go back there, just once …

Aw, khaubang chiahkiik nuam veng, seenlai hunnuam... Seengual lungtuak toh, kiginnni suunkhawl hun a, kangtalai toh, gophel toh, ngathal toh… Paldai luidung ah, ngabeng a, kileuh a, a lui gei a phaizang louhing dipdip tung a suun ihmut zaizai lai ni te… mubang ngai veng… aw, khatvei lel ka chiahkiik nuam…. khatvei lel…

I guess she still moves me

Last night, Britney Spears’ Everytime touched my soul deeply. I kept on listening over and over and over again. Till about 1:00 a.m. The music was mellow and Britney was singing… singing something so beautiful, it can’t be expressed in words. It made my heart ache. I just don’t understand why did my heart ache … still … after all this time.

And as the music and lyrics crept into my head, painfully sweet memories of the Autumn of ’06 began to resurface. I guess I am still moved. Yeah, I admit, she still moves me.

Here’s the lyrics…

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby